Win yer green, muckle,unca, tapsalteerie body o yers,
Biding in tha watter o Loch Ness,
Growling and girning ye auld glaiket, haunless, stoorie wire o a body.
Yer thrawn, clatty, crabbit mind o yers,
Thinking that ye can live fer ever,
Ye footer we yer lassie
That likes tae shoogle.
Yer frea the watter
Where yave always bided,
Ye have nea freens
An yer hoose is a pigsty.
An de bathroom dinnea forget
It’s like a byre that’s no been sweeped fer years.
Yer Nessie, yer weans messy
An ye live tegether like a
Crabbit, daft, drooked family.
