Have you ever tried to tackle a tricky job whilst feeling angry? Ever tried to engage in a meeting at work when something at home is really worrying you? It’s hard to concentrate when emotions are running high. That is what it’s like for our children. For them to concentrate on their learning, this requires managing a whole range of, often uncomfortable, feelings; it requires them being in a ‘good headspace’. We all know the horrors of tackling homework when they are too tired, too frustrated or even too excited about something else!

But it’s even harder than that for our children. We know the words to use to describe feelings. We know how they might impact our bodies, faces, our thoughts, even our actions and behaviours. Our children are still getting good at this. They need help to associate with, recognise and name all the feelings that they might experience. They need practice in talking about their feelings. When they become more confident naming and understanding feelings, then they are better able to manage them and focus on their learning. That’s got to be easier all round!
We cheated! We had some tools to help us talk about feelings with our children – a magnifying glass to hold over parts of our body that might give us clues to our emotions. Held over a ‘washing machine’ tummy, as one mum brilliantly put it, for example when we are anxious. In time children learn that this feeling doesn’t mean they are unwell, but scared about something and that is the first step to dealing with those feelings.

We also had the help of a feelings fan, a set of cards showing drawings of children with the 6 universally recognisable feelings – happy, angry, scared, surprised, sad and disgust. As you know there are many more feelings! But these are a good place to start when talking to your children. You can see our fans in the picture below….you might like to make your own feelings fan at home and use it as a prompt when chatting about your children’s feelings or even your own!