Welcome back to Fun Friends.

This week we are looking at encouragement.

Well done to all of you who have been learning about feelings, relaxing (and milkshake breathing) and ‘I can do it!’ (turning red thoughts green).

This week we want to set goals with children, and encourage them to gain a skill, develop self-control or overcome a fear. This is a chance for us to be brave as we take on a challenge!

To achieve our goal we can break the task into smaller steps. An example is learning to complete a jigsaw puzzle:

1. Find the four corner pieces
2. Find the pieces with a straight edge
3. Match up the pieces with a straight edge
4. Match up pieces with the same colour and join together
5. Fill in the gaps with remaining pieces.
6. Jigsaw complete

Can you pick a goal you would like to achieve? What will you pick?

If you can’t think of a goal here are some ideas:

• Getting dressed by yourself
• Sleeping in your own bed
• Learning a new sport (for sports week)
• Eating new food especially fruit or vegetables
• Fastenings- zips, buttons, studs or velcro
• Riding bike or scooter
• Finding and tidying up your belongings
• Being brave when ……….

Can you make a picture to show what you want to learn or get an adult to help write a list of steps to get you to your goal. If you want you could post it on your Google classroom.

Now start at step one and try and achieve it. If it takes practise try hard! Remember to think green thoughts. When you have achieved a step, Celebrate! Give yourself a cheer or do a little dance.  When you achieve your goal maybe you will get a reward.

What reward would you pick? Maybe playing a favourite game as a family, or getting to choose what Mum or Dad will cook. Fun Friends Koala likes choosing activities with others more than sweet or toy rewards. Can you do the same?Additional resources 

CBeebies radio programme on encouragement: https://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/radio/treasure-champs-encouragement

Using zips:  https://www.nhsggc.org.uk/kids/resources/ot-activityinformation-sheets/zips/

Learning to button:   https://theinspiredtreehouse.com/teach-kids-button/

Introducing new food (its part of info on fussy eaters): https://www.nhsggc.org.uk/kids/resources/ot-activityinformation-sheets/fussy-eaters-information-sheet/

Staying in your bed: https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/sleep/night-time-problems/calling-out-getting-out-of-bed

Learning to ride a bike: https://blog.halfords.com/how-to-teach-a-child-to-ride-a-bike/

Recap on feelings:

• It’s ok to have feelings
• Everyone has feelings
• I can recognise feelings in myself and others
• I can ask for help with my feelings
• Hitting, kicking or breaking things is not ok, no matter how we feel

Keep encouraging your child to identify feelings in themselves and to do things that make themselves feel better when they are experiencing unpleasant feelings.

Practise relaxation every day if you can and encourage your child to use relaxation strategies to calm down if they feel upset/worried/angry e.g use milkshake breathing and imagine a peaceful place.

We can be BRAVE! Being BRAVE is:

• Looking people in the eye
• Smiling
• Using a brave voice
• Standing up tall
• Trying your best
• Trying something for the first time

Red and Green thoughts:

This week in the Fun Friends programme we teach children about negative (RED) thoughts and positive (GREEN) thoughts. There are some activity ideas further down the post.

What children think has an impact on their feelings and actions so it is important we help children develop positive mindsets and be more confident.

What we want children to learn is we can have RED (unhelpful) thoughts or GREEN (helpful) thoughts. We can choose to turn our RED thoughts GREEN.

GREEN thoughts are the things you say to yourself in your head that make you feel good which makes them HELPFUL thoughts.

• I can do it! I will give it a go
• I will try my best
• I am brave
• I will help Mum/Dad/Brother/Sister
• I’m good at lots of things
• It doesn’t matter if I make a mistake
• I have lots of friends
• I’m going to have a good day. I am looking forward to it
• I’ll ignore people who say nasty things to me
• I’ll try this game because it will be fun
• Mum/Dad/Gran/Grandpa always pick me up at the end of the day – they won’t forget

RED thoughts are things you say to yourself that make you feel unhappy feelings or make you feel less confident which makes them UNHELPFUL thoughts.

• I can’t do it and/or I can’t do it without Mum/Dad
• I don’t want to go because I won’t have fun
• No one likes me
• I got something wrong so I’m silly
• I’m not good at this
• I have to win
• I don’t want to do something new – its too scary!
• Reading is too hard
• I’ll look silly if I do that, people will laugh at me
• I’m going to have a bad day
• Mum/Dad/Gran/Grandpa will forget to pick me up at the end of the day!

Changing RED to GREEN

How can we change RED thoughts into GREEN thoughts? Help the children come up with GREEN thoughts for certain situations e.g

• Someone being mean – its not my fault I’m still happy
• Feeling sick – I’ll feel better soon, I can cuddle with Mum/Dad
• Can’t find a toy – I’ll keep looking, I can play with something else
• Best friend didn’t come to school – I can play with someone else, I can still have fun

Feelings vs Thoughts

Talk about the difference between our thoughts and feelings. Talk about how feelings are in our bodies, and thoughts are in our head.

Activity 1

Draw a big traffic light on paper/cardboard with emphasis on RED and GREEN lights – GREEN light means GO!, RED light means STOP! Explain that this is to help us tell the difference between thoughts that help us feel BRAVE and good inside (GREEN) and thoughts that make us feel scared, worried or angry inside (RED). The AMBER light can be seen as a time for changing RED thoughts to GREEN thoughts. It may help to draw happy and unhappy faces onto the traffic lights. Please make sure it is known that RED thoughts are ok to have. You can use examples of RED and GREEN thoughts from the lists above.

Activity 2

Say ‘Hello’ to GREEN thoughts – talk about times when we might have a RED thought and how we can help ourselves to feel better by turning it into a GREEN thought instead.  Write/draw GREEN thoughts on a sheet of green paper (or use a green pen) and turn them into a GREEN thoughts book.

Say Goodbye to RED thoughts – Write/draw a RED thought on a sheet of red paper (or use a red pen), jump up and down on the RED thought, rip it up and throw it in the recycling bin!

Practise identifying RED and GREEN thoughts as much as possible. Model turning RED thoughts into GREEN ones and help your child to do the same with their own RED thoughts.

Praise your child for using these strategies in times of stress and for being BRAVE.

Helpful Links for explaining feelings

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akTRWJZMks0

Songs

Stories 

Healthier Minds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWeB_xzlUpc

Recap on feelings 

• It’s ok to have feelings
• Everyone has feelings
• I can recognise feelings in myself and others.
• I can ask for help with my feelings.
• Hitting, kicking or breaking things is not ok, no matter how we feel. Keep encouraging your child to identify feelings in themselves and to do things that make themselves feel better when they are experiencing unpleasant feelings.

Relax

It’s not easy to relax and there are many different ways people choose to relax. Yoga, reading, singing, exercise, meditating, listening to music and much more. In the world today it is important that we help our children develop this skill of RELAXING as the world around them becomes busier with more challenges. When we help our children and ourselves to develop this skill of RELAXING will in turn help with resilience, self control, good mental health and well being. How many times have you heard an adult say “I don’t have time to relax” but we need to make time and show children how to nurture this positive life skill.

BREATHING 

Milkshake breathing is a term we use a lot with the children in Glenwood and it is one of the tools used in the Fun Friends program. In your family fun bags you should have a straw. Use the straw without any water and get them to practise breathing in through their nose and out through the straw big, long slow breaths. Tell them this will help them to blow out their worries so they can begin to feel more relaxed. After a few practises put the straw into a glass of water to practise their milkshake breathing. Try to emphasize how important it is to do this very slowly and gently. The slower we breathe the better. Slow breathing calms us down!

Belly breathing Find a warm quiet place and lay down. Encourage your child to close their eyes. Ask them to lay one hand on their tummy and start to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. As they breathe in ask them if they can feel their tummy moving up and when they breathe out feel their tummy going down. Tell them that this will help them to blow out their worries so they can begin to feel more relaxed. Again try to emphasise how important it is to do this very slowly and gently. Slow breathing calms us down! Do this for 10 minutes everyday or week. Whatever suits your family life.

The more often either one of these strategies is practised the more natural it will become for them to use in a challenging situation. By saying “I can see and hear you are feeling angry, could we try and do some Milkshake breathing?” you are acknowledging their feelings (that they are allowed to have) and also offering a positive way to release them.

When you’re feeling confident that your child is aware of their breathing and has mastered the skill, music could be introduced and essential oils like lavender. Perhaps as time progresses and the child gets older sessions could last 15mins and even allow them the space to do it themselves in a safe environment.

These suggested strategies can be done in pairs or as a family. Only you know how your family works best. In Glenwood these sessions are done in small groups with key workers scaffolding learning.

Understanding Body Clues Help children identify “Body Clues” with the “Body Clue Match Game”. Draw around your child to create a body shape. It doesn’t matter what it looks like as long as your child can identify a head and arms and legs. Using the body shape with body clues (ie butterflies in tummy, jumpy heart bear, stamping giant head) talk about the body signs and how this person might be feeling.

Next, have your child pick out what emotion they want to talk about first. Remember, “good” or “bad” aren’t emotions – there’s no such thing as a good feeling or a bad feeling! Some feelings might be comfortable and some might be uncomfortable, but every emotion is helpful to recognize. Explain that body signs don’t mean you are sick – these signs are telling us it’s time to relax, drink some water and have some quiet time. Your body is your friend – it gives you clues and signs that it is time to take a deep breath and have a rest. It’s important to listen to our bodies.

Talk about what their body tells them when they feel tired or worried or upset or angry or happy or brave. e.g sore tummy, sore head, red cheeks, need the toilet, warm inside and sweaty hands. Let children know that other children and adults also feel these signs in their bodies.

Further Links:

Breathing exercise – 2 Minute YouTube Video 

Further relaxation activities – ERC Healthier Minds 

Music for relaxation – CBeebies Calming Sounds

Yoga – Mrs Russell’s yoga video

Fun Friends is a programme we use in Glenwood to help children develop their emotional resilience – to find out more click on the link to the Sway at the bottom of this post.

Part of the Fun Friends programme is learning about feelings in ourselves and others. It is also a key part of Curriculum for Excellence.

What we want children to learn:

• It’s OK to have feelings, everyone has feelings.
• To recognise feelings in themselves and others.
• Hitting, kicking or breaking things is not OK.

Feelings – talk about different feelings: happy, sad, angry, scared, tired, nervous, excited, jealous, calm, silly, lonely, playful, brave etc.

Learning about feelings through play – role play feelings (eg show me excited or angry), act out scenarios (eg going on a bear hunt), demonstrate how people you know show their feelings.

Feelings are OK, actions we control – Explain that feelings are OK, everyone has feelings but how we choose to act is very important. You could use thumbs up for good choices and thumbs down for bad choices.

• When we are scared we can choose to run away, hide, not try something new or we can choose to stand up tall, speak in a loud voice, give something a try.
• When we are angry we can choose to stamp our feet, shout or break things or we can choose to calm down, have a drink of water, have some quiet time and talk to someone.
• When we are happy we can choose to shout and scream very loudly and runn around like crazy or we can choose to laugh, smile, sing or cuddle a soft toy.

Sing the traditional song If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands. Introduce alternative feelings and actions, such as:

angry….stamp your feet, sad….have a cry, scared….hide and shake, brave….stand up tall

• Can you predict other people’s emotions? eg when you have news to share or when something unexpected happens
• Think of ways to change how someone feels. Can you make someone happy, can you give them a surprise?
• Draw pictures of things that make you feel sad, worried or angry and talk about ways to feel better.

CBeebies has some more feelings activities and songs you could try. https://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/joinin/talking-to-your-child-about-emotions

“Men don’t feel sad” 

Talking to children they frequently say men don’t feel sad, worried or frightened. They misread these signs as angry. So men in particular need to help children by explaining their feelings, eg “I know I shouted at you when you went out on the road but I felt frightened you might get hurt.”

As children misread men’s feelings, they often say men don’t need help and they don’t know how they manage their feelings. Dads, tell your child what helps you – “I feel sad not seeing Granny and Grandpa too but your cuddles make me feel better” – “I go for a walk when I feel angry.”

Please keep in touch as you explore your feelings together @GlenwoodFC #Glenwoodlearningathome

Follow these links for futher information:

Glenwood Emotional Intelligence Sway

ERC Healthier Minds Website