How can we try to manage our thoughts in a way that is healthy for us? We have to remember first of all that a thought is just a thought – a mental act. It is our interpretation of the though that is important.
We sometimes get stuck in our ‘favourite’ ways of thinking and there will be a pattern to the thoughts that come into our heads. We may think when we are under pressure ‘I just can’t cope’ – if we think this thought is fact then we may start to feel worried, anxious, unable to concentrate, we become unable to do the work, think ‘I really cant’ cope’, start to feel sick/headache, toss the work aside…… As you can see, we can easily get into a vicious circle because of our interpretation of this thought.
Many of the thoughts we have can be unhelpful or distorted and they fall into recognised categories. How many of us in certain situations try to Mind Read, where we try to predict that someone else is thinking ‘Everyone must think i am an idiot for not getting that task finished’.
Or we Disqualify the Positive ‘They are only saying this is good because they feel sorry for me’.
Or we Catastrophise and constantly imagine the worst ‘I am never going to get this task done, I won’t be given responsibility every again’.
Using CBT can help identify our unhelpful thinking and help us put things back into perspective.
View below a short video about unhelpful or distorted thinking.
Here are some questions that can help put things in perspective:
- Have I had any experiences that show that the thought is not completely true all the time (look for exceptions)?
- If my best friend knew I was thinking this what would they say to me?
- Am I jumping to conclusions that are not completely justified by the evidence?
- When I have felt this way in the past what did I think about that helped me feel better?
- Am I blaming myself for something which I do not have complete control over?
We can also try to change unhelpful thoughts to coping ones:
| Unhelpful thought | Coping thought |
| Something’s going to go wrong, I can feel it | I don’t know what is going to happen. I’ve had these feelings before |
| Everyone should like me | No-one is liked by everyone. I will meet people who do not like me |
| I can’t help worrying about this | Worrying never fixes anything and upsets me |
| It’s no use trying I never get it right | I’m going to try and maybe I’ll accomplish something |
| I must excel at everything I do | Nobody’s perfect. I’m human and will make mistakes |
| I must focus on this worry | Brain! You’ve thought about this for too long! Move on |
Things to remember – a thought is just a thought.
Thoughts will come into our heads but we don’t have to pull up a chair and invite them to stay.
We can say to ourselves ‘Just an unhelpful thought passing on through’.
Let’s teach ourselves that thoughts even distorted ones affect our emotional well-being. Let’s learn we can have the power to choose which thoughts we react to.
