We all experience stress and anxiety at different times throughout our lives, and on a daily basis too. Evolutionary, our stress response system used to help our ancestors respond to threat – when they saw a danger their ‘fight or flight’ response system would kick in and help them fight the danger or flee from it. However, while we don’t have the same threats as our ancestors did, we still manage stress on a daily basis and have our stress response systems activated – this can all be very difficult.
As humans, we like to feel in control of a situation. When we feel out of control, our stress and anxiety levels rise. This can mean that we feel dysregulated, worried, or panicky. This can often be seen in our behaviour. We might be more likely to engage in difficult interactions with others, or we may withdraw and avoid people and places.
Anyone can experience stress or anxiety, sometimes there is a clear reason, and other times it can be difficult to identify an obvious trigger. Often anxious or stressful feelings pass once we find a solution to our problem, and begin to feel safe again.
So what helps us to cope?
- Understanding stress as a normal human response to threats, and something we all feel time to time.
- Understanding that we are all different. How we experience stress and how we manage stress is very individual. A key to helping yourself and others to manage stress is to work out what the triggers are for feeling anxious. This can be thinking about places and events and activities that you might find stressful.
- Working out how stress makes us feel. How we are feeling has a big impact on us physiologically. It may affect our stomach, give us a headache, make our shoulders tight or make our legs go to jelly. How does stress affect you? Thinking about the physical feelings you might have when feel stressed or anxious can be useful in talking to adults about your feelings. Have a think…‘Is the feeling bumpy/smooth? Where is it? What makes it go away?
- Understanding how stress affects our thinking. When we are stressed, we develop ‘tunnel vision’ and it can be harder to see the bigger picture. We wear ‘ grey coloured spectacles’ and tend to focus on the negatives, or what we have done badly. This is when we use thinking errors – e.g., when we ‘catastrophise’ and always think the worst of ourselves, or assume what others are thinking about us. Remember, it is important to know that thoughts are not facts- they are just their thoughts and often there is evidence to prove that they are inaccurate.
- Working out how to make things more manageable. Once we have worked out what makes us feel anxious or stressed, and how it affects our body, it is easier to work out how to address it. This website will provide some resources and ideas to help you and children and young people work out what they are feeling, and how to make things a little easier to manage.
The following questions may be helpful. If possible, try talking these through with a trusted adult.
- What changes can you make in your environment or daily routine that remove a trigger?
- What strategies are you already doing that help you feel better? What do you do to look after yourself that you enjoy?
- What physical activities can you engage in to bring your stress levels down? E.g. breathing exercises (simple but so effective); walking; doing a favourite sport.
- What evidence have you got to challenge thinking errors?
- What could you do now to climb the first rung in the ladder and to lift a little bit of the anxiety?
