Information to help your child feel included

Connecting

A sense of belonging is fundamental to our psychological wellbeing. Children need to feel connected to family, friends, school and the wider community to feel included.  Social media, video chats and Glow learning opportunities provide valuable opportunities to keep in touch. Parents/carers can play an important role in supporting this process and ensuring it is a positive experience.

Engaging

In addition to considering online safety it is important to explore children’s feelings about online communication, understand their preferred ways to engage, think about opportunities to build on their interests and skills, support connections with wider groups, as well as prioritising opportunities to support their most valued relationships.

Encouraging

Including children and young people appropriately in discussions and decisions relating to the process of change can have a positive impact on their self-esteem and wellbeing. Being included in a conversation and being asked our view or opinion on something, can help us feel valued and worthy of taking part. When we’re encouraged to be part of a discussion we are being provided an opportunity to learn how other people cope and problem-solve a situation – often helping us feel less alone or worried as we see that there are others who will include us.

Listening

Spending time with your child, playing and talking to them about day to day things while having fun, opens the doors for deeper discussion later. Chatting about next steps and what this means for them will be really important.  For example, watching Newsround with them, watching their reactions closely, and giving space for them to ask questions will help you to understand what they are really thinking and feeling.  It will be important to calmly reassure children that their feelings are understandable and to work together to share ideas of how these feelings can be managed, worries reduced and problems resolved. Try to put your own thoughts and feelings aside while chatting with your children so you can clearly hear and pick up on what they are saying.

Options

It is important to involve children in conversation about what they would like to do. For younger children, if they find this difficult, offer them choices of a few things to do and help then make a plan for the day. For older young people, discuss with them what they think is important for them just now and what they’d like to do in the near future. If what they wish to do can’t happen at the moment, plan with them when it might be possible.

Kindness

The current situation has encouraged numerous acts of kindness within communities. Helping others has been shown to be an effective way of combating feelings of isolation. Involving children in activities where they feel they are helping others, supports children to have a sense that they are making a valuable contribution.

Contributing

The COVID-19 situation has sparked a period of anxiety for us all. Having a sense of being able to influence plans will encourage children to express their worries and fears in the knowledge that these will be heard and supported. Involving children in day to day planning will help children feel included and that their views are valued and make a difference. In the long term, this will help children feel more comfortable to contribute to discussion about changes yet to come. It’s important for us all to nurture our capacity to believe the future holds something better and can be achieved through our own actions.

Councillor Frank McNally, Convener of Education and Families and Derek Brown, Executive Director of Education and Families, have written to all parents and carers to outline our plans for children and young people to return to schools and early learning and childcare settings after the summer break.

Helpful information on how to encourage your child to be responsible

Sense of purpose

A bit of responsibility can help to give a sense of purpose and achievement. Children can be introduced to the notion of their responsibilities in the current situation. They can learn about their responsibility to know what you need to do to keep yourself feeling safe and secure (what makes you feel better and calmer). They can also learn what others need to keep them feeling safe and secure. Remember to teach them that you need to look after yourself before you can look after others. More help and advice can be found on the NSPCC Keeping children safe website.

Whose Job is whose?

It might be helpful to help your child to understand whose job is whose! It’s our job to stay in and keep ourselves safe and it is the doctors, nurses, scientists, medical and government professionals’ jobs to work on how to fix the issue that are going on and they will, they just need some time.

“There are a lot of scientists, doctors, health professionals etc. who are working very hard to make sure that we get through this, which we will do” Dr John Goldin

It can help you to feel less overwhelmed and more secure if you know what your part is in the bigger picture.  Children can learn about their social responsibility to comply with guidance given by the government on washing hands, social distancing and social isolation. Children and young people might need a little bit of help in understanding why and how we need to do this.

How can I help?

In order to feel empowered, and not overwhelmed, it helps children to consider what is within their power to do which might make things better for themselves and others around them.  Having a specific job or role within the house or within the daily routine can give them a sense of purpose and is beneficial for our wellbeing.  This could be helping with chores, calling family members to keeping them company, helping siblings with schoolwork, or playing.  You could help by making  timetables and schedules for everyone in the house.

Who can I help?

Being responsible for improving another person’s wellbeing can help to boost children’s own wellbeing.  Help your child to do a good deed for others in the family or community and this will help them feel better about themselves.  They could offer to do a good deed for a neighbour or family member, or clap for the NHS and carers every Thursday night at 8pm.  This is bringing communities together during these hard and unprecedented times.

What else can I do?

They could also try to stay connected to others in your family and your community by using online video chats, and social media. You could maybe get your child to colour in different pictures every week to hang up on your window, these are helping to brighten people’s daily walks. Further examples can be found here.