Councillor Frank McNally, Convener of Education and Families and Derek Brown, Executive Director of Education and Families, have written to all parents and carers to outline our plans for children and young people to return to schools and early learning and childcare settings after the summer break.

Helpful information on how to encourage your child to be responsible

Sense of purpose

A bit of responsibility can help to give a sense of purpose and achievement. Children can be introduced to the notion of their responsibilities in the current situation. They can learn about their responsibility to know what you need to do to keep yourself feeling safe and secure (what makes you feel better and calmer). They can also learn what others need to keep them feeling safe and secure. Remember to teach them that you need to look after yourself before you can look after others. More help and advice can be found on the NSPCC Keeping children safe website.

Whose Job is whose?

It might be helpful to help your child to understand whose job is whose! It’s our job to stay in and keep ourselves safe and it is the doctors, nurses, scientists, medical and government professionals’ jobs to work on how to fix the issue that are going on and they will, they just need some time.

“There are a lot of scientists, doctors, health professionals etc. who are working very hard to make sure that we get through this, which we will do” Dr John Goldin

It can help you to feel less overwhelmed and more secure if you know what your part is in the bigger picture.  Children can learn about their social responsibility to comply with guidance given by the government on washing hands, social distancing and social isolation. Children and young people might need a little bit of help in understanding why and how we need to do this.

How can I help?

In order to feel empowered, and not overwhelmed, it helps children to consider what is within their power to do which might make things better for themselves and others around them.  Having a specific job or role within the house or within the daily routine can give them a sense of purpose and is beneficial for our wellbeing.  This could be helping with chores, calling family members to keeping them company, helping siblings with schoolwork, or playing.  You could help by making  timetables and schedules for everyone in the house.

Who can I help?

Being responsible for improving another person’s wellbeing can help to boost children’s own wellbeing.  Help your child to do a good deed for others in the family or community and this will help them feel better about themselves.  They could offer to do a good deed for a neighbour or family member, or clap for the NHS and carers every Thursday night at 8pm.  This is bringing communities together during these hard and unprecedented times.

What else can I do?

They could also try to stay connected to others in your family and your community by using online video chats, and social media. You could maybe get your child to colour in different pictures every week to hang up on your window, these are helping to brighten people’s daily walks. Further examples can be found here.

Advice for Parents – Helping your child to feel ‘Respected’

Information to help you in keeping your child feeling respected.

Respecting and responding to your child’s feelings

It is normal to feel stressed, overwhelmed or even scared in the current circumstances. You may also notice this in your children and be seeing a change in their behaviour. Some of the changes you might see are on the World Health Organisation website with some ideas of how to support children. Some other reasons children might be feeling this way, the reasons for each and how to manage them can be found using the link Barnardos – Talking About Feelings.

All behaviour is communication

Try speaking to them about how they are feeling. A helpful visual for this is an anger iceberg. You could also talk to them about different feelings and times you have felt happy, excited, sad, stressed or angry – at an age appropriate level. Advice on how to talk to children about feelings can be found on Barnardos – Talking About Feelings and for younger children, have a look on cbeebies. Remember that all feelings are ok but not all behaviours are.

Planning and working together

One of the key factors that can help your child develop is by ensuring that they are involved in decision making about them and that their opinions are listened to. This can help build their self-esteem. This can be done in lots of ways, including working together to plan routines, activities and what help they might need. Some ideas to help with this can be found on this Home Schooling site.

Showing gratitude

Showing appreciation should be done for each other in the home too as this supports emotional development. Some ways to do this can be through using a kindness calendar which can help children and young people show respect though learning about and carrying out kind acts.

Another way to practise gratitude is by scheduling time with your child to have a think about how to document this, and respecting the way in which they would like to. Some ideas and choices include making use of a gratitude journal.

Helping children to see and respect other people’s views

Children can also be supported with their emotional development through discussion that people might have differing thoughts, opinions and views about different situations. Lots of ideas for helping your child develop respectful relationships with others can be found on Kidscape.

Sometimes the use of social stories and conversations can be a great way to develop their ability to understand and relate to the positions of others, and be able to accept that others may have different opinions than them. These resources were developed for children with autism, however can be very useful for all children and young people.

Advice for Parents – Helping your child to feel ‘Nurtured’

Information to help you in keeping your child feeling nurtured

Being nurtured means that we feel cared for and important, and that our environment provides us opportunities and room to grow and develop. While routine and structure are always helpful, flexibility, creativity and tolerance are even more important right now, given our current circumstances The Covid 19 Five a Day link provides further information.

More than anything else, it’s important that children (and adults) are feeling safe and happy as we negotiate this unusual, and uncertain time together. Children tend to take their lead from the adults around them so don’t forget to take care of yourself! Mindful practices as suggested  on Headspace and Childmind can be helpful during stressful times for your wellbeing.  Key elements to think about as you plan your day (and your child’s) include having fun, taking time and space for yourself, developing kindness (to you and others), spending time interacting with others, and staying positive

Opportunities to connect and share with trusted others is key and conversation can be a great way of enhancing learning. You will find some ideas on the Video chatting to grandparents and grandchildren link. Finding even small ways that children and young people can contribute to others is also a good way of building their sense of accomplishment and keeping them connected to others.

Try to use positive language. Talk about what we CAN do to look after ourselves, our families and our communities.  We can stay in our houses, we can go for a walk each day, we can wash our hands regularly, we can keep in touch with friends and families with phones/technology, we can do our school work from home etc. rather than focusing on the things we CAN’T do.

Try to make having fun and playing a priority in your day where you can as we know how important this is for children’s development. Do what you can with home schooling but don’t worry about trying to replicate a complete school day or a full curriculum.  If we can find a way to view this time as an opportunity to develop some new skills, both in ourselves and in our children, that’s even better. Joining your child in their play can reduce the challenges of trying to get them to join you in your task. Please visit Bright Horizons for more ideas.

If you find yourself becoming frustrated, or see this in your children, it’s helpful to remember that unexpected reactions, irritability and boredom are common and to be expected, given that our movements and activities are unnaturally curtailed. Childmind offers advice and support to families. Understanding and kindness to others (and towards yourself!) might be all that is needed. Remember that even though fall outs are probably inevitable at this time, it is the making up and mending of relationships that’s the important part of relationships.