One day me and Jayje were playing dont fall of the rocks.Jayje said i wish i could get sucked into the game.I told him to press b and a at the same time so he did.Then suddenly it went dark me and Jayje were the new characters. We were excited but scared.What would we tell our parents?
I loved the twisted and the rhetorical question, “What would we tell our parents…?”. Could you try and redevelop the ending? It is very clever and I think you could add more detail so the reader can really imagine what is happening.