Burravoe Primary School

The Family


One day in Singapore there was a family, they loved speaking. They spoke to each other EVERY minute of their life. There was a dad, mum and daughter called Ellie. Ellie said “Why do we talk so much?” “I’m not sure” Mum answered. Dad gave a example “We should cut down the talking to each other, dad looked at the clock, 8 times an hour?” Mum says “yeah, that would be better. What do you think Ellie?” “I think that’s a good idea!” answered Ellie. “How about we go on holiday to celebrate?” dad says. Before they went, something tragic happened…


  1. Hello Hannah,

    Your story sure sounds like it would be an extremely chatty place to call home. You did a great job including dialogue to move along the story. I wonder if you could have introduced your characters a little faster and given you reader more of a hint as to the tragedy.

    Keep up your writing!

    Tracey Ananmalay
    San Jose, CA, US
    Team 100WC

  2. I enjoyed reading this Hannah and am very curious about the tragic happening at the end! You used the prompt well and created an interesting conversation between the 3 statues.
    I think in line 3 – suggestion might have been a better word to use than example; have a read through and see what you think.

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