A little piece of chocolate cake sits on a plate while the children sleep and the adults watch television. There is a dog called Monzie he did not see it. It becomes morning time. They all wake up and have breakfast, after breakfast they go to Tesco and get lunch. When they go home the chocolate cake is not there. Duh duh duh! They were so surprised. They had their lunch. They thought maybe a robber had snuck in. That was the last time they went out with the door unlocked. We spy chocolate foot prints, oh it’s our dads.
Honor’s 100 word challenge number 9
November 16, 2012 | 6 Comments
November 21, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Well done! Next time use more punctuation.
November 27, 2012 at 10:06 am
Thanks!
November 20, 2012 at 11:37 pm
Tee hee Honor I like your ending! I thought it was going to be the dog but you surprised us by revealing it was probably dad! I like how you have built up the writing by describing the events of the day in detail instead of just saying the went out. To make it even better you could think of different ways to start your sentences instead of just ‘they’.
Thank you so much for sharing your writing.
Miss Tarrant
Team 100WC
November 27, 2012 at 10:06 am
Thank you!
November 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm
Dear Honor,
I loved how you made a funny ending.
I also liked how you said the dogs name instead of just saying there was a dog.
Has this actually happened?
Do you have a dog named Monzie?
Sincerely,
Bhadra
November 27, 2012 at 10:05 am
No my little sister loves the name.
Honor