Burravoe Primary School

The Gladiator and the Mouse

| 1 Comment

One day in Rome at the coliseum there was a fight going on between a gladiator and a lion. The gladiator had his trustee trident and his net he fought the lion for about an hour but then the lion jumped at him but the gladiator stabbed it with the trident. The lion was dead just like the 25 lions and tigers he killed. Everybody was terrified of him and nobody wanted to get on the wrong side of him. His master was called Whimbrel. Whimbrel only fed his gladiator the finest of foods like ox and chicken and fish. He had been in about 200 fights and 90 against other gladiators nobody could defeat him. Three men scoured the earth to find fearers creatures but nobody could find any.  They even tried on the under the sea but by the time they got them back to the Coliseum they were dead.  Once they completely ran out of animals and there wasn’t enough time to get another one but then a little mouse scuttled up behind him when the gladiator turned feet he turned round he saw the mouse and jumped on to his fate full trident and screamed get it away from me and the mouse scuttled away and the gladiators head got chopped off for being a coward and his trident given to a rich man called Jamulas. A few days later the power full leader Brydoonkules held a ceremony for the gladiator and spoke to Jamulas and the person who got the trident and Luceos long for Lucy his slave and Kakulos and chlottiost our friends.

 After a while the leader Brydoonkules said come on Luceos its time to trim up my toenails and all the friends said goodbye.   

I think you didn’t need to put the names long and short but good story line because it is very interesting. BS

I think Brydons advice was very useful and I am glad about my writing because I did quite a lot of writing and I got it done on time and next time I could have more paragraphs and punctuation.JR


One Comment

  1. I would agree with BS; it is a good storyline with lots of historical information – I like the Latin versions of names – a clever idea!
    You are right to be pleased that you finished within the time limit. I think your own assessment of what you need to do to improve is right so I’ll say no more!

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