Primary Seven Writing

We were asked to write a descriptive paragraph about an evacuation scene.
Here are a few of our fantastic examples…

Sadly, the five despondent children were abandoned in a mysterious station. They were bewildered as to why they were standing in a row. However, the towering boy, at the front, was standing bravely defending the young ones. Surprisingly, the adult walked to the train, the boys and girls swiftly ran after him. But the children were concerned about where their parents were. The anxious man boomed ” Get in the train now…” The petrified children did as he said, whilst the small boy in the back dropped his fluffy teddy. Therefore, he hurriedly gripped the teddy and leapt in the train. A stressed boy sat next to his friend. After that they went as fast as lightning to get to the man. He opened the steel door. Finally, they felt depressed as they all burst into tears. Nervously, they saw a giant man, suited in black, who gruffly said “What do you want?”…

William Riddell

Sadly, the five chldren had been abandoned at the grimy station by their heartless, unkind mother. Despite the fact that the youngsters were as perfect as angels. Like a caring soldier, the oldest stood strong like a statue in front of the bewildered children. The fierce-looking nun was staring scarily at the infants however the children perched precariously at the edge of the platformand silently stared into nowhere. They looked like they had seen a ghost. Despite the little girl’s cute features, the frightening police officer looked at her as if she was an alien. Then the protective boy looked into the rancid corner and saw a filthy rat crawling around, so that just made the floor even more putrid. Because it was a chilly day the boy was wearing thousands of layers. They were not ready for the journey they were about to go on…

Ellie Redford