Day 16 of home school learning. Today i done sum-dog, then i done my Cinderella news report.
Confident, Creative Learners with Big Ambitions. Kind to each other. Kind to the Planet.
Confident, Creative Learners with Big Ambitions. Kind to each other. Kind to the Planet.
Day 16 of home school learning. Today i done sum-dog, then i done my Cinderella news report.
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It looks like you have done a lot of writing for your Cinderella news report, Niamh. Is Cinderella your favourite Disney princess?
Hi Niamh,
This is a lovely re-telling of the story. You have made some fantastic vocabulary choices, you’ve included plenty of detail, you described Cinderella’s feelings and used some great connectives to keep the story moving. I got a bit mixed up half way through because at the beginning your story talks about Cinderella as ‘her’, but later in the story Cinderella becomes ‘I’, so it would be good to think about whose point of view the story is written from. But I really enjoyed reading your story of Cinders, Niamh and the illustrations show her beautiful dress very well. Nice job!
Great news report Niamh! I love that the evil stepmother refused to comment – that’s exactly what her character would do isn’t it? I think what Mrs. Armstrong is referring to is when you have a quote from Cinderella in the middle. That’s great that you have a quote, I asked you to use them – what we need to look at next is how to use speech marks to show when someone is talking/being quoted. It’s a fab piece of writing though Niamh, well done.
Ah, that makes sense, now Miss Stapleton! Thanks for explaining…and Niamh, that is a fab piece of writing! 🙂