Hello guys. Today I’m going to be showing you my story I’ve written so far. It is based on mythical creatures. Right now this is about the Loch Ness Monster.
One day me and my family decided to go to Loch Ness to go on an adventure. I did hear about a monster in the loch so I decided to try get a look at it at night time.
There was a hotel that we stayed in for a week! It was epic! As we were heading inside of the hotel I looked into the water and saw a big splash. I thought I was going crazy so I just ran inside and watched something to take my mind off it, but then I remembered what they said about the monster. They all called it the Loch Ness Monster or Nessie.
At night when it was foggy and damp because of the rain I sneaked outside. I really wanted to spot it. I went closer… and closer… and closer… until… SPLASH! I slipped and fell into the water. I couldn’t believe it. This was the end of me until something brought me up to the surface. It didn’t look like a fish or an eel or a human. It looked like a massive snake with flippers. When I got to the shore I looked behind me to find it staring at me. I found it breathtaking to see the Loch Ness Monster, but I was scared because I didn’t know what it eats. She turned her head looking towards her back wanting to give me a ride. I got on and we dived in and out of the water having fun and we did it every night until it came to the last night until I had to leave.
We spent our last time together until Nessie stopped. I was confused for why she stopped until I saw a beautiful white horse on the other side of the shore. Nessie brought me back to the hotel backing away from the horse. When the sun rose in the baby blue sky I ran inside to tell my family about Nessie and the white horse. Only my brother believed me but that’s okay. We packed up and headed to the car, but the white horse caught my eye again. “Come on Cleo get in the car!” My Dad shouted. I got in the car but couldn’t stop thinking about the white horse…
To be continued….
Bye for now. Cleo.
Great piece of writing Cleo. You managed to build tension in your writing by using feelings and descriptions – good work.
In the next part could you use some of this week’s Big Words?
Also you could try very short sentences. For impact.
I’m intrigued Cleo, and looking forward to the next installment.
Fantastic writing Cleo, I can’t wait to hear what happens next!
What a great story Cleo – I really want to know what happens next with the white horse.
Really exciting story Cleo. You have got us all eagerly awaiting the next part.
Great story Cleo! Can’t wait to read the next installment!!
wow! Great story Cleo!
what happens next