One day I was walking slowly in the woods when I saw something glistening in the sunlight so I stumbled up to it trembling with fear because it was going to bring me bad luck, but it didn’t, instead a mysterious door appeared then I released where ever I went with key I just had to drop it on the grass and the magic door would appear and I could peer through. One night I decided to pack some things for my unbelievable journey then I tiptoed down the stairs being cautious not to wake my snoozing parents. When I got outside I dropped the key on the rocksoild ground the door appeared yet again so I stepped inside it was like a palace it had my name and pictures of me all over the isolated walls so I had a look around and then it hit me I remembered mum on the phone to someone talking about selling the house this is my home aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh I’m sorry I’m just really excited sorry got to go.
By Kerry
I saw you had a mixture of past tense and present tense. I didn’t get the bad luck part so maybe you need to look that through again!
Apart from that your work is good and I can see you have been using the thesaurus and I like the word glistening. Try using more grammar. Fae Mia
Thanks Mia I fixed what you told me to fix, next time I will use more grammar in my work Thanks for commenting
Fae Kerry
