I have not played against Barcelona at football in the great stadium.

But I have played against rangers and scored three goals.

I have not been to Egypt to see all the brilliant pyramids and enjoy the lovely heat and feel the smooth sand on my feet.

But I have been to a mud bath in turkey and a sulphur pool in turkey.

I have not gone swimming with sharks in the astonishing water of south Africa.

But I have capsized my canoe in the river lion off Scotland on our way to Aberfeldy.

By Dougal