Step One:  Wait until your child is calm (depending on the person it can take up to two hours for the stress hormones in our body to return to normal levels after an acutely stressful experience)

Step Two:  Using the symbols provided, ask your child’s views on what happened throughout the stressful event

Step Three: Support your child to think about the evidence for and against their view of what happened

Step Four: Use the symbols to show your child what you think happened, and what their role was in the situation

Step Five: Try and agree on some common ground – the difficult bit!

Step Six: Encourage your child to accurately identify whether ‘It was me, it was partly me, or it was not me’ who was responsible

Step Seven: Encourage your child to grade their experience on a scale of 1-10 by relating it to other experiences

Step Eight: Identify responses that are appropriate to the intensity of the emotion (using the calming wheels)

Step Nine:  Remember to give praise when effective strategies are used in the future