At midnight my brother was having a party and suddenly the loud music stopped. Everyone screamed, this place is haunted, lets get out of here. When everybody left there was a shadowy figure on the pitch dark stage. Out of the corner of my eye all I could see were two red eyes in the darkness. I was terrified. I ran to my mum. Aahh!! What’s the matter, she said. There’s red eyes over there and the music stopped. This house is haunted! My mum said, no the house isn’t haunted. The red eyes are your rabbit and we’ve just had a power cut!
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Hi Claire, well done, what a great 100wc entry! I loved the comical eneding and how everyone was afraid of your rabbit! Your story has a clear structure (beginning, middle and end) Maybe try adding some speech marks for when your characters are talking? Keep writing 🙂
I loved your story, it had a lot of action in it, well done
Hello Claire, i loved this 100WC piece as you managed to put some humour into it. Well done. I agree with Hannah’s comments; have a look in books to see how the speech is punctuated. I hope you keep on blogging 🙂
Congratulations on being selected for the 100WC Week 7 Showcase, Claire.
I\’m glad to read the red eyes were just the reflection of light in you rabbit\’s eyes. 🙂
@RossMannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia