Improving a sentence.

Today in class we tried to improve simple sentences to help make our writing more interesting.

We began the sentences simply and developed them.

Dylan ran.

Dylan ran away.

The curious boy ran away from home.

The curious boy with the magnifying glass ran away from home to find a tiny horse.

Michael thought.

The boy thought about cats.

The smart boy thought about ginger cats.

The smart boy, who was holding little brothers hand, thought about getting him a ginger cat.

As you can see if we improve our sentences by adding more detail, they are more entertaining to read.

2 thoughts on “Improving a sentence.”

  1. The contents of Tutankhamen’s tomb told a story : long ago, robbers had begun a raid but were interrupted, scattering treasures on the floor as they escaped. All was jumbled together: linen, jewel boxes, gold rings and perfumes, but at the heart of the tomb, in his burial chamber, King Tutankhamen lay undisturbed in his cocoon of three coffins.

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