Category Archives: Personal Studies

Maths has changed my thinking…

Maths has never really been a huge problem for me. In primary school, I was in the ‘top’ group and from what I remember, I generally only struggled with fractions and trial and error questions. My only issue was that if I were to get a question incorrect, I would feel as if I had failed and I hated the embarrassment of being handed my work back to correct (however, this was not specific to maths, it was a personal thing with almost everything). I remember I would try to be the third finished in the class (straight after my two best friends). I would never try to be the first or second, as I knew I would never overtake them in my academic abilities. I was a complete visual learner and still had to write out my times-tables on the side of my page when working out a problem. In fact, I think I would still do it now.

My favourite part of maths was probably symmetry, because I was one of the first to understand it and it was a fun topic, as I enjoyed art/drawing. My teacher used boards with stick out parts and elastic bands for one lesson and would make one side of the board a complicated shape with the elastic bands and I would have to replicate the other. I enjoyed this most probably because I was better at it than my two best friends who would usually overtake me and outshine me in reaching potential.

In high school, it was a big change. I started off in the top maths class but then in third year was moved to the 3rd class. When I asked my teacher about it, he admitted there had been some sort of mistake and would sort it. However, he failed to do this even after asking him again, so I assumed I was supposed to be in this class. All of my friends were in the top 2 classes and I supposed I felt a bit crushed they would be enjoying their class without me. As time went on, I began to hate maths. Before, I didn’t mind it, but the teacher I had was belittling and only wanted to talk about her favourite animal (polar bears – btw). The work was almost too easy for me and I would be finished a considerable amount of time before everyone else, so I would sit bored for about 20 minutes of the lesson while my teacher went around every individual, attempting to help them but eventually just getting frustrated asking, “how can you not understand this?”. She was small but probably one of the scariest teachers I know.

For me, as an upcoming teacher, there is every chance I will try to encourage active learning in maths, and not intimidate my pupils by putting them on the spot and expecting them to know every answer possible. Reflecting through this blog post on my personal experiences has allowed me to realise the type of teacher I would like to be, not just in maths, but in general. I want to engage and be an enthusiast about everything possible to entice my class, to make sure they are enjoying their lessons, and enjoy coming to school!

It’s time to accept critique.

I have come to realise that reflection is a crucial part of becoming a teacher. Taking constructive criticism has always been difficult for me, and over the first semester, peering into second, I am beginning to understand why it is essential, and why I should encourage people to watch over my practice and assess it. I understand that we cannot improve without critique. If we weren’t reviewed by others and ourselves, we would repeatedly be in the same position making the same mistakes, and for the interests of the children, we must use our professional development to benefit them and improve the quality of our practice. Education is an ever-changing profession, things such as the curriculum and legislation have changed over the years and it is up to us to stay in-date with relevant issues and topics, as well as policies and regulations to give future generations a good, informed education.

Reflecting becomes important after lessons in the sense that we should always evaluate what went well and what could have been better. We should continually ask ourselves “How have the class responded?” and “What are my next steps?”. Although you may be challenging some of the children, maybe for others it was too difficult, which caused them to be disengaged. If a lesson in misunderstood by the whole class, there is of course no logic in progressing further and deeper into the subject. Next steps should be to adapt the lesson and maybe even our style to engage the children and encourage their understanding. Reflection allows us to answer questions such as, “What from your teaching has prevented the children from understanding?”, “Have you challenged the children enough, or too much?”, “What could I have done better to improve the children’s learning?”. Pulling out our own abilities and developing qualities from the lesson can encourage our personal development in order to enhance children’s education.

In semester one during the working together module, I figured that speaking up and getting my voice heard wasn’t at all a bad thing. It was best for my group to get my opinion, as when we are qualified together, speaking up is important for the children and young people we will work with. Also in semester one, my involvement was restrictive and therefore restrictive to my learning. Moving forward, my confidence should continue to grow and I should ensure I get involved and keep up to date with reading, as I have found how much this can benefit my studies.

I feel my realisation for personal development and reflection was at the beginning of semester two. I only began truly reflecting when we started our second semester and had a dance workshop. When I realised in the dance workshop that actually, getting involved can be enjoyable and that everyone in my class was in the same boat, I no longer wanted to be the shy girl I was in primary school again. I wanted to enjoy every moment of my studies, including through dance. I decided there that I would try to give everything my maximum effort when possible and that I should stop being embarrassed to participate. My confidence was limited in semester one and I thought speaking out in a lecture was a rather daunting thing. However, semester two has already taught me that getting involved heightens my learning and that I should believe in myself more. I should try to speak up in a lecture if I have an answer, I should try to throw myself into new things when appropriate, and I should definitely take constructive criticism! Not everything will be perfect, and sometimes, some things change depending on the day. It is now crucial for me to regularly reflect, otherwise, I would still be that shy girl from primary school, and not the best version of myself.

Language and Literacy Reflection

Regarding primary school, there are a variety of moments I can remember of learning the skills of reading, writing, listening and talking. In most of these memories, I vaguely recall of having to sit in a circle with my reading group (which was divided into levels) and take turns in reading out parts of the book. In primary one, the books we would focus on were the “Biff, Chip and Kipper” books. Inside, the pages were mostly filled by a large photo, with a sentence of about 4 or 5 words along the bottom of the page in a large font. I also remember in primary one having to practice our handwriting with joined letters and ‘finger spaces’. I slightly remember the orange covers on the reading books in primary seven with a picture placed in the centre. I also remember in primary 7 we read Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde as a class. From around primary three, I remember having to do spelling tests, SRA and ‘listening assessment’ type activities frequently, although the SRA was usually brought out as punishment (in primary and secondary) which is probably why I have negative connotations towards it. We also took part in “ERIC” (Everyone Reading In Class) after lunch, sometimes to calm the class down after lunchtime excitement, as well as to encourage the class to read books more.

I remember from around primary five that I was in the ‘most able’ groups in literacy and numeracy. I think if I wasn’t, this would have affected my confidence and would have restricted me from putting in effort to improve, as I would have felt unable to do any work to a decent standard. I feared peer assessment with the embarrassment of getting something wrong and my peers knowing this.

As I got older and transitioned into secondary school, I continued to gain quality marks and I began to enjoy reading. This continued to improve my literacy skills and I began to feel more confident with my writing. I left school with an A at higher English, and if I were to have tried, I could have completed advance higher with the help of an English teacher who very much believed I could’ve gained a good mark in the exam. I began advance higher, but shortly after dropped the subject when in my first essay I was disappointed by a low mark when the rest of the class achieved better. Instead of comparing myself to them, a part of me wish I listened to my teacher who told me not to be disheartened as I was still learning and there was still plenty of time to improve. As true as this was, when Shakespeare was introduced, I couldn’t handle it anymore. I loathed Shakespeare. I simply couldn’t understand any of his work. I dropped it immediately, to the disappointment of my teacher. I still remember on my last day of sixth year while going around to get my shirt signed, said teacher and another colleague of hers who had me in S5 (for higher) mentioned that I should consider going to University to study English.

In S1, I have faint memories of learning some ‘tricks’ for Standard English. There were in relation to the differences between ‘to’ and ‘too’, ‘there’, ‘they’re’ and ‘their’, and why English isn’t spelled the way we say things (due to accents and dialect!). I enjoyed reading short novels and learning about critically analysing pieces of work, as well as writing my own. The only thing I didn’t enjoy when I was younger was solo talks. Being shy and reserved affected me greatly when it came to using my talking skills to present something to my fellow classmates.

I am very thankful for the teachers who have taken the time to develop my language and literacy skills, I wouldn’t be where I am today without them. My parents were also a huge help – even though they don’t enjoy literacy themselves. When getting homework, they would try their utter best to help me complete it, from writing short poems on ladybirds (thank you mum) to simply going through my letters and sounds with me (thank you dad)!

The Little Change in the World

After the input on Tuesday’s lecture on Values, I found myself slightly itching with how uncomfortable I had felt because of how little the world has really come over so many decades. The realisation of the fact Racism is still so current honestly disheartens me. I will never understand why people of 2018 still think it is acceptable to judge someone from simply the colour of their skin. Why does this matter so much to people? Groups like the Ku Klux Klan are still present to this day, from around 1865. Surely after 100+ years, political responses and Civil Rights movements should be enough to change someones mind about how we are treating others. Why is this not the case? Why did Rosa Parks stand her ground on that bus, just for the future to still contain racism? Why have millions of people marched for rights, just for their children to still be brought up in this world, which has changed so little?

In the news, we are still faced with racist stories and headlines every so often. We hear of a black man being shot in America because “he was posed a threat”, however was nothing of the sort. I never realised how lucky I am to be a white, female, UK citizen until this input. It was astonishing to say the least, to see a quote from only 2016, claiming, “they hate white people because white people are successful and they’re not,”. My eyes have been opened to a different way of thinking – a deeper way – to understand why racism is still apparent.

While watching Clint Smith’s TEDTalk on “How to Raise a Black Son in America”, I was pushed to see an insight to a black child’s life growing up in America. Children are having their childhoods almost stripped when they are simply trying to live their child lives, making mistakes and building resilience. However, Clint Smith recalls of a time with his friends in a low-lit area having fun with water guns, hiding and dodging behind cards, then quickly being taken by his father with an “unfamiliar grip” back inside. His father apologised to him, explaining that he “can’t act like his white friends”, hiding behind cars holding a fake gun. Parents and their children are existing in fear and cannot afford to make any mistakes living in America around white police. It is an extremely sad reality.

Regarding the police force, interesting statistics showed that in 2010, 10.5% of white people were drug users, with only 5.8% of black people being drug users. However, the stats for being stopped and searched show that black people are 6x more likely to be stopped than white people. Why should black people have to put up with this? How does this make any sense? A percentage of black people are also sceptical that the country will make changes for racial equality.

I am certainly not saying I was unaware of racism existing, but the amount of it is overwhelming, and in my opinion, the changes in the world have not been enough over the years. We must strongly influence change on the upcoming generations to hopefully change future opinions, because racism is unacceptable.


“All human beings belong to a single species and are descended from common stock. They are born equal in dignity and rights, and all form an integral part of humanity.”

– UNESCO 1982


A Small Take on Values

On Tuesday afternoon, we had our first values workshop. It consisted of 4 groups, and each table had their own pack of materials to work with. Everything inside was all we had to work with to create something which would benefit a new student. The package my group received had a range of luxurious materials. We discussed our ideas which resulted in creating a double layered pencil case with a map on the outside. It also contained different, colourful information cards inside. However, the point of the task was not how well we worked together, or what we came up with to help students; it was to highlight the fact we can be quite submissive in noticing how different groups can be treated differently by society, depending on what we have. The groups with the packs of rich materials lacked the consideration to notice that the other groups had a basic supply of resources to work with, and that the lecturer was treating everyone differently (the richer-material groups were gaining attention and on the contrast the groups with less resources were going unnoticed).

In all honesty, it was a big eye opener for me. Have I always been this passive? Is this a good thing, because then I do not notice people for what they lack or have, I just see the group as simply another group of people? Or is it a bad thing – that I selfishly do not see what negativity is happening to other groups around me?

I do believe the way we are raised can be fed into our personal beliefs and values. As a teacher, I feel it is important to not treat anyone different just because they are from a certain group; whether it be race, gender or anything else. I want to teach children this when they are young while their brains are still making their set decisions on others, so that they can go out into the world and be respectful of everyone and their beliefs. Nowadays, I think being non-judgemental is a good trait to have. We have a lot of variation in people who are open and happy to share their lifestyles; whether this be around religion, gender roles, or any other personal choice.

To finally reflect on the meaning of this workshop, I understand that as a teacher it is crucial not to treat children differently regarding things such as their economic backgrounds, as of course, just because a child may have limited resources, does not mean they are any less than any other child in the classroom. Lots of families are effected by inequalities, and it is an educators job to support them as much as possible, and not let them go unnoticed.