Homework Task:
Q: Using similes, adverbs and adjectives , can you describe one person you live with, or have met, during your long weekend? (At least 3 sentences with connectives e.g. so, but, and etc).
Challenger (optional):
Can you add a “setting” about where you met this person. Remember, details and your five senses matter!
At the long weekend I met my cousin, her name is Seham. She is studying English, and she is new to Glasgow. She is pretty like a princess, and she has a long hair as dark as night. and she is kind as miss Li.
Star: Nice to see you trying out some similes 😊
Wish: Watch out for where you use your “and”
I am going to write about my mum.
My mum has brown eyes as dark as a chocolate fountain and brown hair to match. My mum is very kind and sweet like candy. Sometimes she can be strict with my brother and I but only when we have been acting like wild animals 😊 I love her so much she gives me loads of cuddles and kisses and makes sure I get to train at all my classes even though we have to travel after her work.
Star: Very specific details about what your mum is like, and you have used lots of similes. Well done! 😊
Wish: Try to use some commas when you are listing a few ideas.
My sister is annoying and cute. One day I saw her in the living room. Her eyes were as big as the sun. Her hair is as brown as dark chocolate. She really likes to rip up tissue paper and make a mess.
Star: Well done trying to use some similes and connectives.
Wish: Challenge yourself and write so that it flows better. You have jumped from “describing a person” to “describing the setting” and back to the person – it’s not wrong, don’t worry. It would just flow better – read over your own work 😊
During the long weekend my mum took me and my brother to the park, as that is a fun place to go . After the park we went to get ice cream, I got mint and it was as minty as my toothpaste. I wanted to stay in the park longer but it started to rain so we had to go home.
Star: A very well written paragraph describing your weekend and what you did. You even managed a simile 😊
Wish: Remember the task – the task was to “describe a person” or “describe the setting (…which you have partially done)” Be careful not to go off in tangents.
I am writing about my little cousin Jax.
At the weekend Jax came to my house to visit and stay over night with his little sister jazmin. Jax is only 2 years old he has brown hair and eyes as blue as the sky. I think Jax is as cute as a button. We played football with a red ball and he loved it but when he scored a goal he was really happy.
Star: I can tell from your description of Jax; that he is a very bubbly and happy 2 year old.
Wish: Names need capital letters i.e. Jazmin.
During my long weekend end [on Monday ] a weird man approached us [me and my mum and my dad, also my dog] in Kelvingrove park by a statue. He had a Ushanka hat and he had maybe 12 ties? He had blue paint on his shoes like he spilled it on them. He had a long cane as black as night. He talked about Trump and Kim Jong Un. He said he was 70 .Before he came up to us we were eating gyros as big as a skyscraper.He was standing in front of us the whole time and he was talking rapidly.And I got nervous because he was there for a long time and I didn’t know who he was. But in the end I wasn’t scared anymore.
Star: This is exceptional! Great use of similes and details of what this “odd” man looked like and did. I would be absolutely terrified to meet him – a man with 12 ties seems a bit too mad for me! Well done for being so brave 😊
Wish: Try to keep “and” as a connective and not a sentence opener.
my friend he wares a black
coat as black like it night
blue pant blue as the sea a red tie as red as the ruby he was on from of a laptop next to him was a big table beside him was a sofa
Star: You have tried to use similes (a little bit shaky but good effort for trying them out!)
Wish: Read over your work and make sure it makes sense to you first! Use punctuation i.e. full stops and commas
In the long weekend at the city centre i met my friend with his two other siblings he has black hair pale skin black eyes and curly hair as curly as a speghiti and we weng to the fun fair and we had lots of fun
Star: Very good details about what your friend looks like.
Wish: Use full stops.
At the weekend I made a new friend and her name was Ellie she has a Blond hair as bright as a Lemmon she was 10 years old she had blue eyes and she is my new neighbour her brother is my brothers friend from high school and her mum is my mums old neighbour
Star: I can really picture what your friend looks like with her blonde hair and blue eyes. Must be very nice having a neighbour that is close to your age 🙂
Wish: Try to use full stops.
My brother similes: is as anoing as a monky.
adverb: look at that shiny table.
adjectives: My brother was walking very slowly.
I met him at my bedroom.
Star: Funny use of a simile and you tried to describe your brother in two different ways.
Wish: Check your spelling, and try to write in sentences/small paragraph.
I live with my mum,and the rest of my family in a block of flats . My mum’s hair,is as pitch black as the inside of a lion’s mouth.She is very kind to me,and cooks delicious food. She likes to read a lot and she’s very creative. She loves nature and loves gardening with me. We have lot’s of fun while baking and love eating the finished product.I love spending the day with my mum.
Star: Great details for describing your mum and her hobbies – I feel like I already know her!
Wish: Be careful how you use your commas and try to star sentences with more engaging “sentence openers”
i’m going to write about my baby cousin Donald jr (dj for short)
He is one year old and last time I saw him he was crawling but this time I walked through the door and I saw a walking baby coming towards me.He is getting big now but is still as thin as a stick.On sunday I went to Donald jr’s house and we had a hot tub party and his trunks looked like build-a-bear shorts.Once we came out my auntie Lorraine made us hot pancakes. The pancakes tasted and smelt delicious.I love Donald because his personality is just like mine.
Star: I can tell from your small paragraph that Donald Jr is quite possibly the cutest one year old in town! Good details!
Wish: Try to put some full stops in so that you do not have to read in one big long breathe.
On the weekend I went to London. In London I was going to see my auntie and uncle .It was so fun. My uncle’s beard is as hairy as a wolf. It was really sunny so we went outside to play. We played tig and he would quietly sneak up on us but we heard him and ran away.
Star: Your uncle sounds fun! Good description of his facial hair and actions.
Wish: You mentioned London; you could have tried to challenge yourself and shared more details on the “setting?” 🙂
My little brother is very cheeky but I love him very much. He is as cute as a rabbit.He has dark brown eyes like the soil.He has black hair like the night.When I was four years old, my little brother Samy was born. The next day my mum and dad brought him home when I came back from school.
Star: That is some great facts and descriptions of your little brother – I can almost visualise exactly what he looks like.
Wish: You did so well on describing your brother; you could have challenged yourself and described your “setting” too?
I’m going to describe my nana\grandma
She has blonde curly hair as blonde as the sun,and wairs usually trousers with a top. She goes swimming every Tuesday, and goes and visits my great antie Linda on weekends. My nana\grandma eats healthy,not unhealthy, she lauphs a lot and is fun. And also when I’m staying at her house for a night or two, she let’s me do anything I want :-D. She has a budgie called Leo and plays with him. My nana\grandma cooks a lot and also cook good and does good baking and when she is done a gives me and plate of things,I eat it all up. My nana\grandma is the best ever:-) 🙂
Star: Your nana/grandmas sounds amazing! Maybe we could share her? 🙂 Good details on what she is like; hobbies, actions and describing her hair.
Wish: Try to focus more on describing how she looks too – don’t forget that your readers have not met her before. You want to describe her so that we can find her in a crowd of lots of people!
Appearance: I am writing about my mom. She has long wavy hair. It is as red as lava & as wavy as seaweed. She has eyes as blue as a sapphire.
Personalty: My mom is as nice as can be and she is playful but can be VERY mean. She loves horse and hates cokroaches ,slugs ,snails and spiders.
She loves to eat is pizza. She hates to eat seafood.
She loves to drink San Pellegrino blood orange. She hates to drink coffee.
Star: You have done a fantastic job of describing in details. I could probably find her in a crowd of people based on your descriptions! I think your mum and I would get along fine – we both hate cockroaches!
Wish: Try to write it out as a small paragraph rather than single sentences line-by-line. Use connectives to join them up 🙂 Also, try to avoid using the ampersand (&) when writing in language; just use “and” whilst you are still practising in literacy. Let’s save the ampersands for another day!
I went to the living room which is as small as a mouse and met my mom.She has long red hair flowing down like a waterfall and eyes as blue as the ocean.As I write this I sit on my blue couch which is as long as a plank of wood and my feet are on a rug that is multi-coloured like an rainbow.
Sam
Star: This is a very good piece of writing. It’s not long, but it tells me a lot about the situation you are in: the couch and room, in which you have seen your mother. Good job!
Wish: You could expand your details and describe more of the room? 🙂
My sister has black hair and is fast and her favourite animal is a zebra.I met my uncle in Pakistan he had a blue T shirt like the blue sky and he takes his time at mostly everything.I met this woman in Cyprus she weres a blue dress she works in a hotel and she likes when things are messy because she likes to clean up.
Star: Good use of similes.
Wish: Read the task of the homework –> choose one person to describe! Not three! It will help you focus easier on writing one rather than too many people.
Before the summer holidays I went to Saudi Arabia and I met my grandmother and my home is as pretty as a castle . The small statue iss beautiful like a crown. There is a garden in the backyard that is amazing with a fountain in the middle of the garden.
Star: Good descriptions of the “setting” in Saudi Arabia
Wish: Try to be more specific about what you can see, smell, taste, hear and touch. Especially when you were describing your grandmother 🙂