Welcome back to the new term!
Using your VCOP (vocabulary, connective, opener, punctuation) skills – could you write 1-2 short paragraphs about your October holidays (October 13th-22nd). You should include the people you spent it with, where you went, what you did and how did you feel about it. Don’t feel limited to writing just one event, write as many as you wish. We are aiming to up-level our writing, and share our holiday stories π
We are looking for longer sentences and challenging vocabulary,:
For example:Β
- ) I went swimming. Β
2. ) On Saturday, my best friend and I went swimming at the leisure centre nearby.Β We were absolutely exhausted after two hours of being in the pool.
In October weekend i went to Saudi Arabia and i will tell you every thing i did in Saudi Arabia. First I went to my grandma’s house I saw my uncle and grandma of course. then they’re waiting for someone I had no idea on who was it but it was my cousin. she had to come to my grandma’s house because her mum had to go to the hospital for an operation. after a couple of hours sitting with my family i messaged my aunt asking her “are you at the house” she said no she’ll be there in Thursday. so I was thinking where she could be at this time. So she sent me a text that she was i in a place called Qassim then i went to google maps and searched up Qassim but it only showed me a picture in a middle of a shopping place so i only saw the malls and stuff. I asked my dad and he said it was a city in the middle of Saudi Arabia. the next day my brother and I asked our dad if we can swim and he said “Sure why not” We were so happy so we quickly put on our swim shorts and raced down to the basement but my brother was scared because if the swimming pool was very cold so I jumped into the pool and it wasn’t very cold but i warned my brother that it would be cold but it will take like ten seconds to get used to it. After we finished then we got cleaned up nice then I asked my uncle is it okay if you order Albaik (Albaik is poplar food restaurant like Mcdonald’s but we think its better because it doesn’t include fake ingredients) He said “sure because you’re visitors.” So he ordered from Albaik and we ate it and it tasted very good.
I had a lot fun during the break. I could’ve written more but it will take a long time so that is why it ended weirdly
Ahmed, that sounded like a really good holiday! Except from the missing cousin part. Glad you found your cousin in the end. It’s also very nice to hear that you’re looking after Abdull when he’s scared of something – a truly good brother, you are! Was he able to use his swimming skills there?
Star: Very detailed description about your holiday. I almost felt like I was there.
Star 2: Good use of speech marks
Wish: Don’t forget your capital letters and full stop
During the October holidays I done a few things firstly I went to football camp where I met up with my football team to train all day.Secondly I went to Gretna to visit my little cousins Jax and Jasmin but it was a rainy day so me and Jax played inside and then went out for dinner.
Football camp sounds intense. Was it fun? Also, how was Gretna? Did you enjoy either of your activities.
Star: Choose a couple of events to talk about
Star: You have tried to write slightly longer sentences.
Wish: You could explain in more detail about how you felt about the football, and going to Gretna.
1. Over the October holidays I did a lot of dance and gymnastics practice as I have competitions coming up this year. It was hard work but I had fun with my friends and and enjoyed learning new steps and tumbles π
2. My friend Esme and I had a sleeover at my house, we had so much fun making slime and I watching movies. We spent the next day at Barclays which is where my mum works. We had a great day learning about money skills and how to make games on our iPads which was taught by Barclays digital eagles! My favourite part was sitting at my mums desk with her team answering the phone and typing on the computer….and ofcourse all the sweets they got us, canβt wait to go back next year π
Eva, that sounds like a pretty packed holiday. We have been very impressed with your gymnastic skills in school so I can only imagine you will be fantastic at your competitions when it comes π Your sleepover sounds very cool – maybe you could show us how to make slime some point this year! On top of that, you managed to do some maths games at your mum’s work place – you are super lucky! Plus all those sweets!
Star: Very detailed events. It’s very in-depth!
Star: Good use of the opener “Over the October holiday…”
Wish: You don’t need to number your paragraphs π
I was all the holiday playing gta 5 in my ps4 and watching tv aaand going to the cinema and that’s my holiday .
Ahmed, Playing GTA? Is that not an 18 year old game? Sounds like you were kept busy throughout the holiday though.
Star: Shared a few ideas
Wish: Write more detail about what you watched at the cinema? Or what you watched on TV? Did you enjoy GTA? Did you enjoy the programmes you watched etc?
I went to my home country during the October holidays. I went to Medinah. it is a holy city in Saudi Arabia. I went with my dad and my brother to a place called Hazzarah. when I met my cousins there, we played football, raced and we played tag.
In my home country we have a BIG! house at the basement of the house there is a swimming pool. my cousins came to my family house then we swim for an hour or 2 then we played in my console with a game called Zelda.
I enjoy it but I felt sad when i left π π .
Abdull, I will have to visit your home country some point in my life time. I have heard great things π I am jealous you have a house with a swimming pool! I think we all need one here in our homes too. I think we were all quite sad to finish up our holidays, but at least you can come back to school to do more learning and fun things!
Star: Shared lots of detail about what you did
Star: Attempted longer sentences
Wish: Try not to forget capital letters when starting new sentences.
i went to the pool and was swimming it was as cold as it looks .
and one day i was making a video about ali my cat and it was about her playing with a ball made out of tinfoil from a biscuit and some milk
shake bottle under the lid
then on one of my days of uncle marc brought a new baby and i just acted like there was no problem
Adam, nice to hear you got a little trip to the pool. Swimming is always great fun. Maybe you could show us how you made the video about “Ali” your cat, one day in class? What was the new baby’s name? You must be fascinated by the baby’s tiny little features π
Star: Good details
Wish: Capital letters and full stops.
On the October holiday I went to After school club. On Wednesday I went bowling with my friends and I was the first one to win in my group. On that day we also had a plan to decorate a cake but the ladies forgot to get the cakes so I played on the wii instead. On Thursday me and my friend Amira got to make the icing and a cakes and we also did den building as well. On Friday I went to the cinema to watch the lego Ninjago movie it was so good I really liked it.
Amalia, that sounds like you have been kept super busy. Was there a day where you got to do nothing π You had too much fun! I have heard the Ninjago movie is great – what was your favourite part of it?
Star: Showed a lot of things you did
Star: Used different sentence openers
Wish: Try to explore some different punctuation i.e. commas
When I went to Edinburgh on the October holidays with my mum and my brother,I also went to Mary King Close. It is a under ground city that people used to live in. It made me a little scared but it was interesting to learn what it was like back then in the 17th century-till 1930βs.
After that we went to a Mexican restaurant. I ate a burrito, my brother had soup and my mum had tacos.
Ike, sounds amazing! I have also been to Edinburgh but never had a look at Mary King’s Close. Perhaps you could share with the class what you learned? I’m glad you got over being scared. Otherwise you would have missed out on some very intriguing history. Also… yummy to the Mexican restaurant part!
Star: Variety of sentence openers
Star: Good detail about who, what and felt
Wish: Explore other forms of punctuation
during the october week i went to laser tag at clydebank.I went with my mum,my auntie Steph,my two cousins Lauren and Robyn,my sister Cara and my mums friend Emma it was so much fun.My name in laser tag was Chewbacca.I was like a spy i was creeping around the place behind all the walls.I also saw miss macgibbon.she was going go karting On friday i went to tag active which is kind of like ninja warrior and a bit like a soft play for older kids and adults.I went with the same people i went to laser tag with.after that we went to bounce the trampoline park inside tag active. i landed my first ever front somersault at bounce.it was so much fun. Miss Li you should go to tag active seeing as your really fit.
I can picture this very well in my head – you creeping about being stealthy! I am incredibly jealous about how much fun you have had over the holidays π Did you give Miss Macgibbon a big wave? I think I would love to go to Tag and take on your recommendation. I’ll report back to you if I ever end up getting enough friends to go π
Star: Good choice of openers
Star: Great details about your holiday
Wish: capital letters at the start of sentences!
On Friday the 13th of October I flew to Reykjavik,Iceland and saw HallgrΓmskirkja, a Lutheran church that is still used.That night I saw a glimpse of the northern lights(I saw some green and red).The next day I drove the golden circle, a road that has lots of natural wonders. I saw a geyser called Strokkur that erupts every 5 minutes, a big crater with a lake in the middle, where the European and North America tectonic plates split, and a waterfall called Gollfoss.The following day I explored Reykjavik and went to the Viking museum, the Reykjavik zoo, the whales of Iceland museum.Later that day I rode Icelandic horses and almost fell off at the end.The day after that I went to the Lava Tunnel tour and a Geothermal pool.The next day I went hiking with my dad to the tallest waterfall in Iceland which is 180 metres tall and I had to cross 2 freezing rivers to get to the top.That night I went to another geothermal pool with my mom and sister.
Sam, you are making me sweat with envy! That is incredible! I think that is my ideal holiday. I may have to ask you to jot down some of these places so that I can go visit them too. Please bring in some photos if you have any?
Star: Fantastic choice of sentence openers
Star: Vocabulary is great
Wish: When typing up writing; use double spaces after each full stop.
Hi miss Li πππ»
On Friday October: 15th (the day we got to Iceland) we went shopping! π and we visited a church, oh by the way we’re in Reykjavik.
On Saturday October 16th: we drove the golden circle and we saw a geyser me and my mom got wet because we were standing in the way of the water from the geyser! and for some reason a drone was hovering over us and it got soaked by the geyser!t
Geysers look amazing in pictures – I can only imagine how cool they are in real life! If you have photos, please bring them in to show the class. What was the church like?
Star: Details for your second day
Wish: Punctuation to break down your sentences
I went to my little cousinβs house , we went there in the morning and we ate yummy breakfast but we did not ate breakfast only , we played games . At the funny afternoon we started to play Minecraft and after that we ate tasty popcorn . We played on the computer but time is to go back home but we had a super day .
Why was the breakfast so yummy? What was in it? What did you play on the computer? Sounded like a lovely and relaxed holiday π
Star: Use of “and” and “but”
Wish: Use a full stop instead of a comma when starting a new sentence.
On the October holidays I stayed at my Nanas house and my auntie Amanda came to visit me and my nana. On Monday I went to my mums work and I sat at a desk and played on the computer. Then on Thursday I went to the movies with my dad and watched the boss baby.On Wednesday I went to get some things for my Halloween costume. On school Monday I got a new baby cousin called Aria.!!!
So I hope u liked my homework miss Li see you at school bye .
You skimmed through that so quickly! I want to know all about your new baby cousin, and the Boss Baby movie! Sounds very much like a busy holiday!
Star: Nice to see you share a few things you did
Wish: Try to give more details and longer sentences using connectives.