Below are 6 ways to engage with & empower your learners.
- Eye Contact
One of the best ways to connect with our learners and keep their focus. Hold your gaze with one learner for about 15-30 seconds before changing to another learner. They are likely to pay more attention when they know you’re speaking directly to them. It also helps them feel seen.
- Be Expressive and Use Gestures
Inspire learners to become involved with the lesson. Hook their brains. Retention rates are low on verbal material but increase when you add in memorable nonverbal cues for the brain to file away as an association.
- Keep Your Arms Open
An open body position signals an invitation. It welcomes brainstorming and new ideas. It also draws your learners’ attention to you and thus they will be more likely to hear what you have to say.
- Praise with Your Whole Body
Nod your head. Give a thumbs up–maybe two! Raise your hands in excitement. Show them they are on the right path and they will be more confident in continuing down it.
- Adopt a Thinking Pose
Hold your chin, tilt your head. This will signal to the student you are looking at to ponder the question. It inspires curiosity.
- Smile
This is the most important. Students connect best with teachers who want to be present with them, who love learning and want to share that passion.
The following phrases can also really help:
- “I’ve heard what you said”.
- “Story writing seems to be a problem, what’s our goal, let’s make a plan, great, we managed to do it!”
- “let’s stop and think for a moment”.
- “You are refusing to come to gym which shows me that you might be feeling anxious or scared about something.”
- “You are upset at the moment. That’s fine. I am here to help you. We can sort this out.”
- “When we feel angry we can…That helps us to feel calm again. Then we can re-join the group”
- “Everyone feels angry sometimes. Let’s look at what you can do when you are angry.”
The PACE Approach
Dan Hughes (Clinical Psychologist, USA) promotes the PACE approach, which our EP colleagues in Fife also recommend.
Playfulness
This is about creating a fun, light and playful atmosphere when communicating with the child. It means using a light tone of voice, like you might do when story-telling, rather than an irritated or lecturing tone. It is about having fun and expressing a sense of joy. Relating with a playful attitude keeps the interaction light and upbeat. It can help diffuse a difficult or tense situation. Children are less likely to respond with anger and defensiveness when the adult has a touch of playfulness in their communication. Being playful could mean having fun with shared games or a shared activity that involves you both. Having a playful stance isn’t about being funny all the time or making jokes when a child is sad. It’s about helping children be more open to and experience positive connection. While such a response may not be appropriate at the time of risky or distressed behaviours, when applied to low level behaviours, playfulness can help keep it all in perspective.
Acceptance
This is about accepting that whatever the child (or you) are feeling right now is ok. You are accepting their thoughts, feelings and perceptions without judgement. You may not agree with their interpretation, but you accept their feelings about it. It is their experience and this is important. Don’t minimise or invalidate it. Show them it’s ok to feel the way they do – actively communicate to the child that you accept their feelings and thoughts underneath the observable behaviour. For example, a child may tell you “I know you hate me”. It is tempting to respond with “that’s not true” or “don’t say that” but this may leave the child feeling that you really don’t understand what it’s like for them. Instead, through using PACE we could respond with “I’m sorry you think I hate you, that must feel awful, no wonder you’re angry with me” or “I didn’t realise that you feel like that, I’m sorry it feels that way to you”. Acceptance does not mean you have to accept the behaviour if this is harmful to themselves or to another person.
You can limit the behaviour while at the same time understanding and accepting the motives for the behaviour. Convey your acceptance through your tone of voice – try using a ‘story-telling’ or gentle tone, showing your interest, showing your understanding and maintaining a non-judgemental stance. Acceptance is most clearly conveyed through non-verbal communication.
Curiosity
This is about approaching children with an air of curiosity. Seek to understand what it is that drives them. What is important in their life? How can you get to the core of who they are and bring out the best in them? Curiosity means you don’t judge them so quickly. You can ask more questions of them, as you are curious to know more about them.
Curiosity involves a quiet, accepting tone: “What do you think that was about?” or “I wonder what…?” You say this without anticipating an answer or response from a child. This is different from asking the child, “Why did you do that?” with the expectation of a reply. Children often know that their behavior was not appropriate. They often do not know why they did it or are reluctant to tell adults why. If an adult can stay curious about why their child is behaving as they are, the child and adult are less likely to feel cross or frustrated. With curiosity we are trying to show we simply wish to understand why. We hope to convey that our intentions are to truly understand and help the child, not to lecture.
Empathy
Empathy is about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and allowing yourself to feel what they must be feeling. It gives us a sense of compassion for the child and their feelings. This is essential in helping a child feel understood. When someone really understands you, it can make a big difference to how you cope. Being empathic is not about reassuring the child (which tries to make the problem go away) but about being with them in the moment, carrying and containing their big emotions. This lays the foundation for connection. With empathy, when a child is sad or in distress we are feeling the sadness and distress with them and letting them know that. We demonstrate that we know how difficult an experience is for them. We are telling them that they will not have to deal with the distress alone. Together we will get through this. The adult will stay with the child emotionally, providing comfort and support, and will not abandon them when they need the adult the most.
