Connection and Loneliness

Belonging to a group or community gives us a sense of identity. It helps us understand who we are and feel part of something larger than ourselves. Researchers also find that people with strong social connections have less stress-related health problems, lower risk of mental illness, and faster recovery from trauma or illness. Friends and family can also encourage and support us in healthy lifestyle habits, such as exercise and moderation.

Sometimes for young people, it’s hard to do this and find they don’t have the agency or resources to do this

Some people are naturally more outgoing and popular.

Some people do have more outgoing temperaments, but introverts form just as many close connections as extroverts do and are just as capable of developing their social skills. Social skills are learned, and they can be learned and improved at any time in our lives.

Suggestions for tackling loneliness

reaching out to others for emotional support and advice (family, friends, teachers, pastoral support staff at schools, school counselling service, helplines like Childline)
being proactive in resolving issues with friends by talking it over directly (such as discussing reasons for being “left out”)
participating in activities, clubs and sports to help make social connections with people with similar interests
going to community spaces where you might meet new people (for example, go to the park to walk the dog)
volunteering
reaching out to others to provide support (at school as well as suggestions for taking part in inter-generational initiatives that help both generations simultaneously)

Although these are familiar approaches for helping young people to address their emotions and (re-)connect with others, young people themselves said it’s important for each person to find the methods that work best for them. These will be different for different people and will evolve as children and young people grow up, mature, and have different interests, abilities, opportunities and challenges. There is no one-size-fits-all approach that will work for everyone, but providing easily accessible support and making a wide range of opportunities for social connection available are both important.

Children’s and young people’s suggestions for tackling loneliness

Create a culture of openness about loneliness

Talk about loneliness more openly as we do with mental health.
Include loneliness on the school curriculum.
Encourage young people to talk to someone about it or ask for help.
Discuss it in schools and universities and make support available.

Create opportunities to make social connections

Organised activities and clubs.
Community activities.
Volunteering.
Inter-generational initiatives.

Encourage positive uses of social media to alleviate loneliness

To meet new people or ease transitions.
Find others with common interests.

Prepare young people to understand loneliness and equip them to deal with it

Prepare young people for life transitions and what to expect.
Provide support to young people in developing connections, especially at important transition points.
Share and try out good ideas for encouraging inclusiveness at schools in friendship groups, on the playground, in the selection of teams.

By Wilma Whyte, Secondary Schools Service Manager, The Exchange

Loneliness in children and young people

Tips for combating loneliness

Remove yourself from the environment playing a part of your loneliness (if possible), as negative relationships can play a big part of loneliness and isolation.
Create positive relationships with others around you, be open to form new connections with others.
Become part of a group or support network – being around others with similar interests or hobbies can help make you feel part of a group or community.
Keep in regular contact with friends or family members, try to text or call each week to stay connected.
Do something for yourself each week that you enjoy, this has a positive impact on your mental health.
Try to stay active by going for a walk or doing sports activities, this too has a positive impact on mental health.
Try a new hobby.
Reach out to a trusted adult or friend.

Signs of loneliness in others

Spending a lot of time alone
Focusing on negative things
Being very tired all the time
Cancelling plans just before they are meant to happen
Appear quite distant and withdrawn
Doing normal tasks may seem like an effort or a hassle

Support Services

Samaritans – 116 123 or online at https://www.samaritans.org/scotland/how-we-can-help/schools/deal/
SAMH – 0344 800 0550
Young minds – 0808 802 5544

Activities to improve mental health

Exchange Resource have launched a website with free resources for children and young people. Some of the activities listed below could be used to help combat feelings of loneliness or low mood which can be associated with this. The website can be accessed at : https://www.exchange-resource.net/freeresourcelibrary

* Comfort menu

* Rainbow breathing

* Comfort cards

* Solar System

By Katie Campbell, Exchange Primary School Practitioner