Yesterday I went to the zoo in Edinburgh and it was a 30 minute drive. When I got there I heard a huge DRUM and I ran in and saw a LION standing and i wondered what he was going to do. Then he started dancing. I watched him as he DANCED and everytime he did a good trick someone ran on and feed him a CORNFLAKE. It was very EXCITING going through the rest of the zoo but then my big brother felt sick so we had to go home. I got home and went straight to my bed.
well done
Ilyas, I couldn’t help wondering which student you were in the picture above. Don’t tell me, though, due to security. You have some fine looking students in your class.
The mark of an excellent story is when the reader cannot tell whether your story actually happened or not, and I cannot tell. I do know I have seen similar activities when watching animal programs, although not with a lion. You did a nice job working the prompt into an interesting story line and your word choice made your story seem very real. ). I look forward to reading more adventures from you.