Notre Dame Voices is a special feature as part of Notre Dame Now, which allows a pupil, staff member or anyone who is part of our wider school community, to speak anonymously about an issue that’s been affecting them.

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In our first ever instalment, an anonymous S1 pupil speaks bravely and passionately about the struggles of forming friendships groups after arriving in Secondary school from Primary.

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I’m a first year pupil at Notre Dame High School and it wasn’t exactly easy to get to this point in life. There were times that I thought I wouldn’t get here but I came to a few realisations: firstly, that not everything is easy; and, that we do have people who will listen and who will be able to help us through really challenging times. I’ve also been able to see that, sometimes we just get so caught up in stressful situations in our lives, we don’t think anything or anyone can help. But there’s always a way out of even our seemingly impossible struggles.

In my case, my stresses and struggles existed because of me – me choosing to be around and hang around with the wrong people. I did think that I was making the correct decision for me, but that was just my head manipulating me into thinking it was the right thing to do – when it definitely wasn’t! I thought by doing this – by compromising on who I really am and on what I really value and regard as important – that people would like me. Silly me. I think it was silly of me to think that because you really can’t force someone to like you – ever – and especially when you’re changing yourself completely to please others.

This may sound familiar to those of you who may have already gone through this time period in your own lives, switching from Primary to Secondary school. It’s totally normal to think this kind of stuff is important but sometimes you do need to face the truth – even if that does mean losing some people. Your true friends are those who are willing to stick by you and support you through these types of situations.

If you find that you’re changing yourself to be part of a certain friendship group, then that simply shouldn’t be the case. You shouldn’t ever need to change yourself for people to like you. If someone doesn’t like you for who you are, that’s fine. Don’t bother with them. Why? Because you’re you – not everyone else. You’re your own person and no-one but you should get to decide that you’re going to change.