I should start at the beginning…

My feelings of maths have changed drastically over the years. Maths has never been my strongest subject and I felt that in primary school it was very teacher led. This has allowed me to perform simple maths equations but when I am faced with a very wordy problem solving calculation, I develop what is called Maths Anxiety (yes, this is actually a real thing). I recently had a lecture about maths anxiety. Maths Anxiety is “a general fear of contact with mathematics, including classes, homework and tests.” (Hembree 1990, p.45).

I feel that through my 19 years of life this has come and gone. I developed this anxiety in primary school, then I began to enjoy maths at high school. I thought that I was beginning to slowly lose my maths anxiety. Until I left high school and I began to realise that I was not performing the maths that I had been taught, such as Pythagoras Theorem, in everyday life. Now when someone begins to talk about maths I feel like my mind goes blank and my head begins to hurt from over thinking the problem.

I have taken the maths elective this year as I want to make my maths anxiety vanish. My aim is to not become a teacher who passes their anxiety of maths onto their pupils…I would never forgive myself. I want to show that maths is fun and that it is more than just numerical information that you need in everyday life. During the maths lectures I have been finding out new ways to view maths and finding out ways that I can make my lessons more enjoyable. This has given me hope and I feel like this is the beginning of saying goodbye to my Maths Anxiety. I strive to become a teacher who pushes themselves and I believe once I get over my maths anxiety I will be invincible.