What is the definition of maths? It could be the literal definition which is , ” The study of numbers, shapes and space ” (Cambridge dictionaries, 2019). However, every person will have a different definition and experience of maths, for myself, words that I associate with maths would be; anxiety, inadequate, slow and scary. It might be obvious, but i have not had an easy experience when it comes to maths.
Language and art based subjects have always come more naturally to me and I always gravitated towards them more. My favourite part of topics was the creative side of making posters about the sun and an Anderson shelter model; as for me it brought the learning to life and really helped me as I am a visual learner. This also ran into reading which i enjoyed anyway but the visual aids in books such as Bif and Chip really helped me stay focused.
On the other hand, ever since primary 2 my teachers and parents has noticed took a slow approach to maths, and I struggled to keep up with my classmates. I was isolated into a support group with 4 others from primary 3 onwards, I found myself overcome with relief; as I was finally in an ability group that went at my pace and I was not stressing about my peers thinking I was incapable or stupid. In particular, I remember the support for learning teacher, Mrs Trainer, created this supportive and safe environment where mistakes could be made without judgement, and this was the first time I truly saw the impact of a teacher who cares and who is passionate, as towards the end of primary school, dare I say it, I enjoyed maths; even if only a little bit.
Transitioning from Primary to Secondary is never easy for any child, as there was an aspect for every pupil which they had not experienced before. This could be from new subjects that had not been explored in primary school, or being surrounded by new people and a new environment. The transition from primary school maths to secondary was a big jump for me, with the content, but also with the lack of support my school provided for people like me who struggled with maths. The more assessment and attainment tests were introduced; the more pressure and anxiety from when I was younger was introduced back. However, I was lucky enough to be able to get the support that helped me so much through primary school back. This helped me so much and I created a lasting bond with my maths tutor and we still keep in touch to this day. She created a safe environment for mistakes and learning , much like Mrs Trainer, Yet, without the collaboration of my school I still really struggled.
A huge part of my negative view on maths derives from my teachers in secondary school. I strongly believe that a teacher, and the relationship you have with them has a direct impact on whether you enjoy that said subject, which was the case for me with my maths teachers. The mathematics department was a place of discomfort for myself and every year, I found myself dreading to see whatever teacher I had for parents evening. Especially, during my National 5 qualification from S3-S4, my teacher had a nature of not explaining/ helping any further after the topic had been introduced and he also did not believe in me or many others in my class and repeatedly belittle us by making our questions and queries seem stupid. A real turning point for me was when my dad had arranged a meeting with my maths teacher, and came away with the advise that my teacher strongly advises I do not sit the exam. This made me feel like a complete lost cause; as the department did not want a fail reflecting badly on them and it was evident they did not believe in or truly care about me. At first, I was discouraged, however as I reflected on the advise, all it made me want to do was pass my National 5 maths exam, which I knew was not going to be easy. I was lucky enough to have my dad and my tutor who worked so hard with me, doing mocks and going through the content over and over and in the end, I was one of the only people in my teachers class to pass. For me this is one of my greatest achievements still to this date, and it also showed me a valuable lesson which I know will have shaped not only the way I will teach maths, but my approach to teaching overall; it showed me to never give up on a child no matter how long it takes for them to understand a concept, as they might not have the same support out-with school as I luckily did. I even re-sat National 5 maths; so I could attend the University of Dundee which I am currently enrolled at, by bumping up my grade from a C to an A, which reinforces that by going over topics and content until they are understood is so important, as that is how I got an A at the end of it all.
Although, at the time I thought my journey with maths was over; I realise now it will never be over as it is in everyday life but also, now I will be faced with the challenge teaching mathematics to children in Scotland. However, as I have struggled so much first hand, I feel I will be equipt with not only the knowledge, but the empathy and understanding to teach maths and support the children, no matter their ability. To overcome my anxieties about teaching maths I will resort back to the strategies used during my National 5 maths journey, but also combine this with help from my lecturers and further reading and materials to best deliver the level of maths education children deserve.
