• Children’s and Parents’ Mental Health in Covid 19 Lockdown

As a working parent, suddenly finding myself working from home, trying to manage the usual household admin – cooking cleaning and the like – home educating my P1 child number 1 and entertain child number 2 (aged 2 going on 12!) has been overwhelming to say the least. I struggle to even put into words how I am feeling in the midst of these unprecedented times, but this diagram pretty much sums it up! (Please excuse my rudimentary artistic skills!! At the moment I feel like I am having to learn all manner of new skills to function in everyday life – e.g. Blogging, technology……..all new to me! On the plus side I can add all these to my CV for future times…..)

This kind of mentality is not sustainable in the long run, and as it is looking like we are in it for the medium to long term, it is essential that parents find a way to manage their own mental health in order to protect that of their children (Remember that oxygen mask analogy?).

I have included some favourite techniques that can be enjoyable to do with your children below. It is very “whistle stop tour” and I hope in coming weeks to look at some in a bit more detail and share with you. Please feel free to share your ideas too – remember, it takes a village!!

Everyday Stress Busting Techniques

In times of stress your body will revert to fight or flight mode. This is basically the automatic mode that your brain operates in when trying to escape a threatening situation (like escaping a sabre tooth tiger in the case of our ancestors.) Luckily for us, sabre tooth tigers don’t roam the land in 2020, but evolution hasn’t caught up yet and whilst fight or flight is useful in short bursts it can be damaging in large, frequent and prolonged doses. Below I have outlined a very brief snapshot of things we can do with our children to basically tell our body and brains that “all is well” and reduce the unpleasant physical symptoms of the fight or flight stress response.

· Breathing Techniques – Blowing bubbles– there are lots of bubble making recipes online, see what kinds of bubbles you can blow using different breaths. How do these breaths make your body feel? Scarf breathing – Provide a selection of coloured scarves or light materials. Get children to choose their favourite colour. Lie down on your back and see if you can keep your scarf in the air using your breath. Maybe you could imagine your breath being the same colour as your scarf? Teddy Breathing – choose your favourite Teddy Bear and lie down with it on your tummy. Can you make it go up in the air using your breath? Make sure you breath deep into your tummy!!

· Visualisations – I am in the process of developing some of these that are individually suited to my own children’s interests which I will share at a later date, but there are some wonderful pre-prepared generic ones here at New Horizon Holistic Centre.

They have also developed an app for all devices which looks wonderful, though I haven’t had a chance to personally download and review it yet.

For adults I can highly recommend The Honest Guys.

· Gentle Movement – Try to get your body moving every day, in any way that feels good for you and your children. Some that we love here are – Cosmic Kids Yoga, Joe Wicks daily PE , Oti Mabuse Dance lessons, or doing a rainbow hunt in local community – (practicing safe social distancing) – lots of children have been painting rainbows and putting them up in the windows. Why not see how any you can find? On a 30 min walk around our local neighbourhood my daughter counted 40!

· Nature and grounding – Being out in the fresh air has many proven mental health benefits and can help to bring your mind back to the present when it feels like it is fizzing with worries. Some things to try are – Mindful scavenger hunts – why not try going out and giving your children things to find in the garden or close by such as “things that are red” “things that are soft”. I have this lovely commercially produced set Scavenger Hunt but it is by no means essential – you could make your own or even just think of things from the top of your head. Sound walks – using the same principles as above but focussing on the sounds that you can hear around you.

· Gratitude – make it a habit before bed to talk about things that you are grateful for each day. Make it a habit to see good in all situations – eg we like to shout thankyou to the rain for growing pretty flowers. Or thank you to the lockdown for allowing us to slow down. Older children might like a lovely journal of their very own to write down their thoughts.

I wanted just to add an overarching note to all the above, and that is BE KIND. I have noticed over the last few weeks, an outpouring of kindness from society to others’ around them, but very often people neglect to include being kind to themselves. The list above isn’t about spending hours creating Instagram ready resources and activities (though if that is your happy place then go ahead!). That certainly isn’t my happy place and personally causes me undue stress, pressure and comparison. I don’t feel particularly confident with arts and crafts activities for example, and my children will pick up on the stress of me trying to emulate the picture-perfect activity in this area, meaning a not particularly enjoyable experience. Instead, I provide them with resources, stand back, ignore the mess and relish in them showing me the (not perfect) finished product and help them clear up afterwards.

If at this time, you don’t feel motivated to learn a new language/bake/spring clean/craft with your kids/(insert other seemingly perfect activity that you have seen on social media) , and all that you can manage to do at this time is hunker down in a duvet den, cuddle and read books with your loved ones then that is enough, because you are enough! In these times connection is key, and it isn’t what you do with your family at this time that the children will remember but how they felt.

Emma x