Today we split into 2 groups. Our challenge was to take a rather dull and uninspiring story of Mr Fox and up-level it. We decided that it needed WOW words, adjectives, more interesting punctuation, joining words and exciting openers.
Here is the original story
I am Mr Fox. I am a good fox. I am a nice fox. I live with my wife and children in a hole. I like to take food from the farmers. The farmers are bad. The farmers want to hurt me. They shot my tail off ‘Ouch’ I said. The farmers try to catch me. We are hungry.
Here is our first improved story.
Good evening! I am Mr Fox. I am a stylish and wise fox. I live in a deep dark hole with my beautiful wife and my four fantastic kids. I like to steal food from the evil and grumpy farmers. The farmers are so mean and stupid because they can never catch me! But the farmers shot off my lovely bushy tail!
“OUCH!” I screeched in agony! Now the horrible farmers want to murder me! They have surrounded my deep dark home with their minions. My children are trapped and terrified! We are starving to death slowly and getting weaker every second!
I need to make a brilliant plan…
Our second story…
Hello everyone! How do you do? My name is the fantastic, charming, handsome Mr. Fox. I live in a smelly, mucky, deep burrow. I am a sneaky, sly fox too though and I steal chickens from Bunce, cider from Bean and other food from Boggis. The three smelliest, ugliest, fattest farmers in the whole entire world! I hate them so much for shooting off my soft and fluffy tail. OW! I shouted! And yet, they still want to hurt me. So me, my beautiful Mrs. Fox and our four, little, cute stars, our children are stuck in this horrible, mucky and dusty burrow. And we are starving!
We enjoyed performing our stories and gave each other feedback afterwards. We will use all this to help us write Mr Fox stories of our own