Warning: this article explores content you might find upsetting. If you need support, please speak to your Pupil Support teacher or another responsible adult.
In recent years mental health has risen to the forefront of our society’s discussion, especially when it comes to children and young people’s mental health. So why are we still receiving the horrifying news that nearly 1 in 4 fourteen year old girls have deliberately inflicted harm on themselves in the past year? What has gone wrong in our mission for change?
The report was the 7th edition of The Children Society’s annual collaboration with the University of York reporting on children’s wellbeing. More than 15% of the children who responded to being surveyed had self-harmed in this past year, with the 22% chance of a girl self harming being more than double the 9% chance of a boy.
However there were other vital factors involved, aside from gender. Sexual orientation also plays a huge role, as children who were attracted to the same or both genders were much more likely to self harm. In fact, nearly half of this group did indeed self harm, highlighting the awful lack of support given to LGBT youth, and the stigma they suffer every day.
Ethnicity also played an important role in this, as children in the Indian, Pakistani/Bangladeshi and Black/Black British groups were less likely to self harm than those in the White, Mixed and other. The link with household income was weaker, but still rather significant. Children in the highest two income groups were more likely to self harm than those in the lowest two.
Remarkably, the report showed relatively high levels of success in predicting self harm, using three measures of subjective wellbeing and mental health on top of the previously mentioned patterns. More than 60% of children with high depressive symptoms, nearly 50% of children with low life satisfaction and over 30% of children with high emotional and behavioural difficulties had self harmed. This is an important breakdown, especially when compared to the blanket average of 15%.
Perhaps the most poignant and shocking finding however was this:
Clearly children who have low well-being or poor mental health have a much higher than average risk of self-harming. What is also notable is that the life satisfaction measure (based on a single question) was a more powerful predictor of self-harm than a 20 item scale of emotional and behavioural difficulties reported by parents.
It is becoming more and more obvious to us all that the key to healing the growing mental health crisis among British youth, and globally, is to listen to young people. Listen to us when we say we’re struggling, and create truly safe and caring environment that allows us to feel assured that we will be heard. And the report seconds this opinion:
So perhaps the two linked conclusions are the value of asking children’s own views and feelings rather than relying on reports of their well-being by third parties, and value of asking children about subjective well-being – particularly as these kind of questions are much less intrusive than many measures of mental health symptoms and problems.
The Biggest Pressures In Young Lives
Unsurprisingly to many, the biggest areas of pressure in these children’s lives were school and their appearance, which was concluded in a survey within the report that looked at 10-17 year olds and their parents across 2,000 socio-economic households across England, Scotland and Wales.
As the Guardian reported, nearly a quarter, 25%, said they heard comments or jokes about other people’s bodies or their appearance all the time. Among secondary school students, more than a fifth, 22%, said that comments or jokes were frequently made about others’ sexual activity. Both of these things made girls feel much worse about their appearance and less happy about their life in general, but this pattern did not apply to boys.
A Teenage Perspective
This is the culture we have created in secondary schools, something that each and every pupil experiences to some degree – the issue of looks amongst teenagers. That’s a discussion that’s never far from society’s collective lips. Over the years we have seen more and more of a push towards ‘body positivity’ in our society, especially amongst women. Swapping size zero for plus size models, celebrating your stretch marks, cellulite and blemishes online and opening a healthy discussion into the unrealistic pressures on mothers to ‘bounce back’ after giving birth.
So why don’t I, and a lot of my fellow teenagers, not feel positive about my body? Maybe its because we’re constantly comparing ourselves to those around us, and those we see in the media. Maybe we see girls our age with perfect cut creases and straightened hair, and feel inferior because that isn’t us. Maybe those same girls look at them with their long legs and straight teeth, and feel insecure because that isn’t them.
And maybe all of us look to our favourite TV shows and see ’17 year olds’ with perfect skin and six pack abs and wonder why none of us look like that. Why we’re carrying more weight than them and our figures aren’t as defined. Why they seem to sachet through life with boundless confidence and we’re stumbling through whilst still developing our social skills. It’s because those aren’t 17 year olds. They’re 25 year olds, but older actors playing teenagers is so common that our perception of the teenage ideal is warped. Perhaps something as simple as having teen actors play teenagers, and not slathering them in make up and grown-up clothes, would allow us to see that what we are right now is okay. That it’s normal.
That as cliched as it sounds we’re all beautiful as we are, and we don’t need to strive to be something that we’re not. We can’t just skip the nasty physical effects of puberty, so we may as well accept them while we have them.
Matthew Reed, Chief Executive of The Children’s Society stated:
The reality is that we all need to do more to make sure every child feels happy and included at home, school and in our communities. Together we can help young people feel valued, cherished and loved for who they really are. Because no child should feel alone.
Gender Stereotypes
Gender stereotypes also played a harmful role, as boys who felt they had to be ‘tough’ and girls that felt they had to be ‘pretty’ were also less content. But the report says family relationships are important in solving all of these issue. The charity suggests that contentment with family relationships could be the best protection because they have the biggest positive influence on their overall wellbeing. Reed also said:
Our evidence shows that traditional gender stereotypes are still common and can be harmful to children’s well-being. The report highlights examples of young people struggling to fit in with society’s expectations of them, for example the damaging effects to girls’ well-being of being bombarded by comments about their appearance at school.
With children facing overwhelming and sometimes conflicting pressures about how they should look, who they should like and how they should behave, it should come as no surprise that many are struggling to have a happy childhood.
But the charity also called on schools and the government to do more. As schools are one of the biggest areas of pressure and upset in children’s lives, it is not surprise that Matthew Reed had this comment to make:
“Issues like appearance, gender stereotypes and sexuality should be included in the new relationships and sex education curriculum.
“However, early support for vulnerable children and families in the community, which can help prevent mental health problems from developing, is also vital, and ministers must urgently address the £2bn funding shortfall facing council children’s services departments by 2020.”
An Important Story
But in order to truly connect with and understand this issue, we must hear from those who have experienced it themselves. The Guardian published one astoundingly open, honest and eye opening account of self harm from one British teenager that I would like to have end this article. Her words are infinitely more important in this discussion than anything I can say.
“I started self-harming when I was 13. I don’t really know why I started doing it. I guess I had a lot going on and wanted to feel in control of something. The first time I did it I was in the bath and I accidentally cut myself shaving. At first I was panicking but then it felt kind of nice so I started doing it on purpose with various different objects. I would do it all the time, it became addictive.
“I would feel euphoric afterwards. I found physical pain easier to control than what was going on in my mind. The moments I felt pain were the moments my thoughts stopped and all I focused on was the physical discomfort.
“I thought I was the only one doing it, but my friends were too. It came up in conversation and I tried to help them. I encouraged them to seek help, although I never told them I was also doing the same. As well as cutting myself I also developed issues with food. I think both things stemmed from all the pressure I was feeling. Girls feel pressure from a younger and younger age these days. We feel pressure to be perfect and when they don’t achieve that they punish themselves.
“I am not sure why girls are more prone to this, perhaps it is because there is more pressure on us to look a certain way. You tend to see more female models, and girls strive to be like them. The gender stereotype is that boys are manly and girls have to be pretty. This leads to people feeling self-conscious and like they need to look and act a certain way. It makes you feel like you cannot be yourself. I saw a girl this weekend and she was so young but plastered in makeup and fake tan and acrylic nails. She was way too young to feel that pressure.
“The solution is better education about mental health, so people know where to go if they are struggling. There needs to be more resources. I am getting better now and on the road back to recovery but it’s been a long journey. The most important part of getting better for me was knowing I am not alone and others have experienced this.”
Jessica, 18, from south Wales
- By Eleanor Service, Editor-In-Chief
- Sources: The Evening Standard, The Guardian, Sky News, The Childhood Society Report
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