Burravoe Primary School

Rain More Rain

| 12 Comments

Hi my name is Lily and I am a little girl. Say hi to my friend Abby the koala. She is sooooooo cute. One day we were asleep in a tree. It was snowing and raining at the same time. I am so hungry said Abby. In my backpack I have skittles, mentos, water, cheese and ham sandwiches and randoms. Yum yum yum! Can I have some skittles please? Said koala. Do not eat them all said Lily. Okok I will not says koala. I am wet. So am I Lily. I will wish for the rain to go off said Lily. Ah the rain is going off now. Thanks Lily you have helped save my lands from drowning. Thank you.

rain more rain


12 Comments

  1. Dear Honor,

    I really liked your story.
    How much skittles did the koala eat?
    Keep up the good work!

    Sincerely,
    Edward

  2. Dear blogger that was a very good post. But i really don’t understand how lily saved the lands, if the wish the lands then was it a wish from friendship, love or hope. Great job

    your’s truly AJ

  3. Honor
    I love your story it was ASOME.

  4. Hi Honor

    I really like the title but try using paragraphs and describe how many skittles she had.
    Well done.

    Lauren

  5. We thought it was very good but we think you should try and use paragraphs and try and build up the story a bit more.
    Can you please tell us how old you are ?

    Chloe and Tani
    Caegarw Primary School

  6. Dear Honor

    Abby is so cute!
    How much skittles did Abby eat?
    You should add diolouges like this ”
    So your bloggers can see that Abby or Lilly is talking 😀
    otherwise I love your raining story!

    LOVE
    CECILIA

    • Hi Cecilia,

      I am in primary 3. I have not learned how to do speech marks yet. She ate 10 skittles, I should have included it in my story.

      Honor.

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