Step 1. Create an emergency kit. And know where it is.
Whether its kept at home, on your person or at your work its prudent in case of the balloon going up that you are prepared for any circumstance; essentials include your passport, your Canadian citizenship application and a 2 year supply of Aldi’s own Mediterranean Wines.
Step 2. Create an emergency plan with your loved ones.
In case of the big kaboom it may be wise to sharpen up your choral version of La Marseillaise and make sure old uncle George doesn’t mention that “we’ve beat the Jerry before, we’ll do it again” when confronted with the EU commission for immigration.
Step 3. Check your phone.
It is incredibly important to remain in contact with the level headed, well organised people in the government…..hahahhahahha…..unrelated the Canadian government website has a beautiful picture of Justin Trudeau on its front page…
Step 4. Know your evacuation routes.
In case of Boris’s Brexit make sure to be aware of the escape routes now being pointed out by our helpful flight attendants…what am I kidding! Swim… I’m sure you’ll be picked up by the 11:20 rubber dingy from Calais.
Step 5. But most importantly, do not assume you need to always evacuate.
Ensure that all windows are boarded up and make sure to keep away from the Department for the United Majority(DUM)…Or you’ll have to answer to Secretary General May.
Somewhat surreal, but what isn’t these days! Keep the opinion pieces coming please.