In the dark and willow woods stood a magical cornflake castle. Inside the cardboard walls lay the scary dark milk dungeon. A lion tripped over the cornflake castle and he danced it was very exciting, he found it. The cornflake king said “who dare make such a noise?” The lion looked and laughed “you are no match for ME!” Cornflake king told his men to take him to the dungeon. The lion just laughed and said “I won’t fit in there!”The leaves hitting off the trees made it sound like a drum though the lion escaped the next day.
Katie and Mackenzie
http://100wc.net/2015/04/26/week-30-2-2/
Hi Katie ( and MacKenzie!),
This is a really lovely story – so creative! You have painted a wonderful picture with words which is exactly what writing should be about.
One small tip is that whenever you use speech marks, you should begin with a capital letter inside the speech marks.
This is a minor thing, however, as you have a great ability to write.
Thomas (Ireland)