Category Archives: 1.3 Trust & Respect

(16.01.18) Don’t wind yourself, miss!

Today we had an input on voice management and how important it is to use your voice correctly. When I sluggishly walked in to the lecture theatre at 9 this morning, I had no idea what I was going to learn. I guess I had never really put much thought into it. I guess that I had always assumed that I’d be okay. However, thinking about it in hindsight, what did I think was going to happen? That by using some sort of telepathic connection, the children would hear the meltdown in my head and stare silently? That’s just madness.

The vocal chords are a tool. A very powerful one at that, if and when used correctly. The lecturer gave an amazing analogy. Imagine a balloon, blow it up and don’t tie it. The balloon is your lungs and diaphragm, full of air. The part you left open, is your vocal chord. If you let the air out you will hear a noise from the rubber flapping together. In short, that’s what happens when you speak. This made it apparent, that if you don’t use your air intake correctly all your doing is straining the vocal chords. I know what your thinking, it’s crazy right? How the lack of knowledge of your lung capacity and breath intake can cause vocal fatigue but hey, every day is a school day, quite literally. After a few breathing exercises I was impressed by how little I knew. I was beginning to understand that if I only use a certain percentage of my lung capacity, I won’t be able to get to that optimum projection without strain.

Not only did I learn about the importance of using your voice correctly, I began to understand the importance of not using your voice at all. Who knew silence could be your friend. ‘The teacher look’ is something we discussed in this mornings lecture. Now, I have been told I have that figured out. However, working in an after school care is a little different from a classroom and although I have had that experience, I am still nervous about being in that classroom environment. No child is the same and certainly, no group of children are the same. My look of disapproval may have worked with the children I knew but who is to say it will work with the children in my class.

For now, I’ll be keeping these notes around for my placement.

(3.10.17 Values) Be the rainbow.

Gender or sex? These terms are up for discussion. What defines a person, it’s certainly not a colour, right?

Last week we not only had an input on feminism and the importance it has in our society but we attended a workshop that got us questioning the very idea that we have adopted subconsciously. Are you blue or are you pink? Gender mania is here and it’s not going anywhere, in fact it’s growing and it’s going places. Not only do we as a society accept gender roles but we force them upon the people who absorb everything at a terrifying but impressive rate. Yep, you guessed it, children. As a child, you wouldn’t have caught me dead in a dress. Pretty bows in my hair? Forget about it. The common topic up for argument between my mum and dad was always “Why does she dress like a little boy?” However, what defines a boy or girl by the way they dress?

Should a child have to dress a certain way based on their sex? If a little girl feels more comfortable in jeans and t-shirts, why should she be forced out of that comfort zone just to make her look ‘girly’? Similarly, if your son wants to dress up as a princess rather than a cowboy this Halloween, why should he be denied that choice? They don’t see any issues, it’s you that has the fear of what others will think. Gender is taught. It is a social construct. No one is born aware of their sex. As a child, you don’t care, you just want to be comfortable and happy. If you like it, you want it, it doesn’t matter if it’s made for a boy or girl. I can’t stress this enough: you should never force ideologies on a child simply because you believe in them. Parents don’t understand the window that they close from the moment they define their child by the toys they place in their bedroom and the clothes in their closet.

I’ve seen the struggle first hand; being born the sex you don’t identify with and being forced to live with it to make others feel ‘comfortable’. Two years ago, someone that I never want to lose entered my life. He is wonderful and he is strong but he was in fact not born a ‘he’. When I first met him, I didn’t try to guess what was happening with his identity, I just assumed that he was male. It wasn’t until the night he ‘came out’ to me that I knew for sure he was transgender. I remember it so vividly, you could see it had been something on his mind for a long time. The agitation and nerves were apparent. His voice was cracking. I thought he was going to tell me that he was in trouble and needed help. However, he hesitantly explained to me that he ‘was a girl? but wasn’t really a girl’ and he wanted me to know this. The anticipation was evident in his face as he waited for a reply.

“Yeah? I didn’t think you were a girl if I’m honest.”

I felt the atmosphere relax and his shoulders drop with relief. Since then, I can’t lie when I say this but I have felt extremely protective of him. I used to snap harshly and correct everyone when they used incorrect pronouns. I knew it wasn’t my place but I couldn’t understand why so many found it difficult to relate him with the pronouns he wished to be identified with. I see him every so often and when I do I can’t believe his progress, he’s happier in his body, not always but more than what he was and, although he has not yet ‘come out’ to his parents, I can understand why. Up to this point, they have raised a daughter and he allows them to maintain this illusion. He wants his parents to feel comfortable even when he is not. I know in time he will tell them but he’s trying to find the right moment… even though we both know there will never be ‘the right moment’. I have seen through him that being transgender is a struggle and isn’t a choice. He had been tormenting himself for years, before realising what he was feeling was real. That being born in the wrong body is real and, yet to this day, he is willing to make himself unhappy for a short period of time so that his loved ones remain unaware of his true self.

Gender is socially constructed and this should not be carried into our classrooms. I know it’s easier said than done but it shouldn’t be. Hopefully, one day I will be in a classroom environment, standing in front of a sea of wide eyes waiting for me to speak. I need to choose my words carefully, I need to make sure that I only bring positivity into our safe space…

 

You are not blue or pink, you are the rainbow.

(26.09.17 Values) Only Human.

“Well, is it?”
“Is it what?”
“A myth?”

Last week we had an input about race, ethnicity and discrimination. To begin with I thought it would be very straight forward: come in, get angry then leave. I was wrong, very wrong. Although I was aware that racism was still very active and a part of society, I didn’t realise that so many people accepted it as part of a ‘norm’. Day to day life, shrug of the shoulders and move on. I was left fidgeting in my seat as the pictures on the slide flicked between then and now, not much had changed.  Before the input had started we were asked to think about the terms and scribble down a few definitions so we could compare our initial thought to our final understanding. I came up with the following:

  • Race – A group of individuals sharing the same culture or ancestry.
  • Ethnicity – A group of individuals that share the same ancestry, culture or religion.
  • Discrimination – When certain individuals receive unfair and unjust treatment.

As you can see I struggled to find a distinct difference between race and ethnicity. At the time I felt that they blended into the one. I would later find out that this is a common problem. Does race come with a definition? Does it exist on its own?

Emmet Till’s name appeared in front of us and in that moment, I felt like I was back in my 4th year History class but I wasn’t. Here I was, sitting in a lecture theatre surrounded by people hoping to one day be teachers, social workers or those involved in CLD. It became clear that this was important to our vocation, that one day we’ll face discrimination maybe not directed towards us but we will witness it in our careers at some point. The slides continued through, comparisons showing the unbelievable canniness of the court case scene in “How to kill a mockingbird” to that of Emmet Till’s murder trial. We could see that the white man dominated the justice system and no matter how much evidence there was, they’d never serve time for killing a black man.

The 60s flickered on to the screen and a familiar MP appeared, Peter Griffiths. It was evident that the UK was never excluded from racism (let’s not forget the Great British Empire). However, political investment has always been somewhat of a burden to me and so, this was not news. Unfortunately, I was very familiar with Peter’s racist campaign slogan and again, the white man got away with it. Why? Popular belief at the time, I suppose. Immigration was at a rise, you know, protect our values… blah, blah, blah.

Flash forward to 1993. The case of Stephen Lawrence and the injustice his family received. A young boy murdered by a gang of white youths in what was a clearly racially motivated attack and how the metropolitan police managed to sweep it under the carpet. Stephen’s family never gave up and eventually received closure. It took the court two decades to find the suspects guilty and an enquiry was filed in October 2015 into whether the police had shielded the killers from prosecution.

Now in 2017, we have just witnessed white supremacists, who had enough confidence in their cause that they didn’t even feel the need to wear white hoods, storm through Charlottesville. Honestly? We haven’t come that far, have we? Racism is still very present and with the likes of President Trump I can only see it getting worse, not only in America. This happens everywhere, every day.

In the second part of the input we were shown that discrimination doesn’t only fall into the category of skin colour but also of sex. Being a female I always felt some sort of truth in this. As a child, I always felt that boys got the fun toys, we had to play with dolls preparing us for a life of kitchens and babies. Growing up, I began to see that woman have always been treated unfairly. They had to fight for their right to vote, to work…  to be human. Whereas men, well, that was their given right from the moment they were born. Relating it to nowadays, we think that we have moved on but we haven’t really. Saudi Arabia have just given women the right to drive. In the 21st Century? And yet just because they can now drive doesn’t mean they have the freedom to do a lot of other things that we take for granted in Western society. Women are able and intelligent. We can dominate professions. Why should we be oppressed?

As someone who will be entering a profession that will deal with children from all walks of life, I can’t help but feel so strongly about this topic as a whole. How will I deal with discrimination in my class? When I stand in front of a sea of children, how can I highlight the importance of this? How can I enlighten them, teach them, that everyone is equal no matter what sex they are or what colour of skin they have? It all comes down to the controversial ‘myth’. Race.

We are all equal, you, me, them. We are all the same. We are all human. That is the only race.