Higher Creative
Short Story

Name_______________________

Decision Number One

Are you going to write a poem?

Are you going to write a dramatic monologue?

Are you going to write a dramascript?

Or are you going to write a short story?

Well, the chances are that you are one of the majority who choose the short story option.

If so, you’re in luck, because this booklet is about how to write a story short story.

If you are looking for some examples of the short story form then some texts to search for would be:

The Tell-tale Heart – Edgar Allan Poe
The Lottery – Shirley Jackson
Lamb to the Slaughter – Roald Dahl
The Sound of Thunder – Ray Bradbury
Click Clack the Rattle Bag – Neil Gaiman

Of course, many of these will have a higher word count than the limit of the folio, but they will give you a good sense of how to structure a narrative and build a theme. 

“A short story is a love affair, a novel is a marriage. A short story is a photograph; a novel is a film.”
― Lorrie Moore
“A short story must have a single mood and every sentence must build towards it.”
― Edgar Allan Poe
“Write a short story every week. It's not possible to write 52 bad short stories in a row.”
― Ray Bradbury
“Short stories are tiny windows into other worlds and other minds and other dreams. They are journeys you can make to the far side of the universe and still be back in time for dinner.”
― Neil Gaiman

Decision Number Two

What is my short story to be about?

Well, that’s kind of up to you. The reason it’s called Creative Writing is that you create something which wasn’t there before, about something that isn’t there at all.
If you’re writing about “The Role of the Weimar Republic in the rise to Nazi Power”, then you’re writing about something that actually happened and including facts and statistics and evidence to support an argument. However, a piece of narrative writing is about things which exist only in your imagination.

Except that that’s not really true either. Most of us will include things we are interested in or lean towards developing a theme we care about and this inspiration is perfectly fine. So long as it is inspiration and not simply cold hard facts. So having the rise of the Nazis as a backdrop to your story about a Jewish character struggling in Germany is okay – but your story should focus on the character and themes rather than getting in as much historical information as you can cram in. 

Think – “Boy in the Striped Pyjamas” rather than historical documentary.

Decision Number Three

What is my story not to be about?

Although we’re not going to tell you what to write about (not yet, anyhow), we can give you some advice on the kind of things to avoid. Here are some:

1. The Mini-Novel: a cast of thousands, multiple locations, a long timespan.

As Bruce’s army crested the hill, Jock, Tam, Eddie, Mac, Jimmy, Phil and Cuthbert prepared for the greatest day of their lives.
A few years later, a strange craft launched itself from the red sands of Mars...

2. The Concealed Discursive: all issue; no story

As she shivered in the doorway, away from the driving rain, Agnes thought bitterly about the injustice of homelessness. The Government’s current approach...

3. The Self-Consciously “Literary” Effort: all Thesaurus, no imagination.

The torpid disc blinked lethargically from the celestial vault as Pocahontes McCrossan meandered limpidly through the “slithy toves”...

4. The Big Issue: all issue, no character.

In the year 2009, atmospheric pollution on Earth finally reached crisis point. President Pat McDade looked blearily through the windows of the White House at the smog which engulfed the landscape…

5. The Piece that doesn’t know when enough is enough.

Eventually, the aliens fled back to their own planet. “Fancy the game tonight?” grinned Bob to Fred. They walked off down the street.

The game itself was very tight. Pollock went one up in the tenth minute, but Hibs equalised soon after...

6. The Piece which starts or finishes at the wrong point.

It had all begun that evening as he was preparing for bed...

And then Harry Potter woke up under the staircase. It was all a dream!

Decision Number Four

What is my short story to be about? Which is pretty much back to where we started.

However, now that we have an idea of what not to do, we should be able to work out a bit better what to do.

We’re still not going to give you a subject, but whatever subject you choose for yourself, it should fit the following criteria:

It should have two or three main characters at most

It should have a theme: you should be able to say what it is about without referring to the plot e.g. racism, courage, grief.

It should have a conscious structure (see elements:1)

It should have a conscious mood 

It should be implicit: the theme or moral of your story should be left to the reader to deduce e.g. Do not begin with “John had always lacked courage, but now was his chance to challenge himself…”

it should be selective: you only need to mention what you need to mention.

Elements: 1. Structure

Classical narrative structure can be split into four elements:

Exposition--------development------------crisis -----------resolution

The exposition tells you what you need to know to understand the narrative:

WHO: the characters
WHEN: the setting in time
WHERE: the setting in place
WHAT: the general situation
WHY: the characters’ motivation (which might come later).

The development introduces a problem, dilemma, or new idea etc 
the “story” begins.

The crisis brings it all to the boil: character is in danger, or finally has to make a decision etc.

The resolution: harmony is restored, and sometimes the status quo; back to normality.

***
 
 A fairy story is a very basic narrative, nowadays generally aimed at children, which lacks many of the elements which make reading narrative satisfying. However, we can use Red Riding Hood as a model for what we are trying to do. 

Exposition: Who, what, where, when, why
One upon a time there was a little girl who lived with her parents in a cottage at the edge of a forest. Right in the middle of the forest was another cottage which belonged to the girl’s grandma. The little girl had a read cloak, made by her grandma, which she cherished and worse everywhere. Everybody began to call the girl Little Red Riding Hood. 

Development: The story begins, harmony is disrupted, a new element is introduced. 
One day the little girl’s grandma fell ill, so Little Red Riding Hood’s mum made the Grandma a cake in order to make her feel better. She told Little Red Riding Hood to take it to her grandma. So, Little Red Riding Hood picked up the basket, waved goodbye, and set off down the path to Grandma’s house. 
She hadn’t gone very far when Little Red Riding Hood met a wolf. “Good morning Red Riding Hood, what have you got in your basket?”
“I have some cake for my grandma.” Replied the little girl, “She is ill and needs some cheering up.”
“Why don’t we both go visit your Grandma?” asked the wolf, “I’ll race you there!”
The wolf ran away, and Little Red Riding hood continued along the path, picking up flowers and wild strawberries for her Grandma as she went. 
The wolf reached Grandma’s cottage in no time and knocked on the door.
“Who is it?” shouted the Grandma.
“Little Red Riding Hood.” whispered the wolf. 
“Come on in dear.” Said Grandma, “the door isn’t locked.”
The wolf bounded in and swallowed Grandma in one huge bite. He then looked around the bedroom and grabbed Grandma’s nightgown and glasses and put them on before jumping into Grandma’s bed to wait for Little Red Riding Hood. 
At last, the little girl reached the door and tapped softly. 
“Who is it?” cried the wolf.
“It is me, Little Red Riding Hood.” Said the girl, “I’ve brought you some cake to cheer you up.”
“Open the latch, my dear and come see me.” Said the wolf. 

Crisis: The outcome hangs in the balance.
When Little Red Riding Hood saw the wolf, she said “Why, Grandma. What strong arms you have!”
“All the better to hug you with.” Said the wolf. 
“Why Grandma, what big ears you have.”
“All the better to hear you with, my dear.”
“Why Grandma, what big eyes you have.”
“All the better to see you with.” grinned the wolf.
“Why, Grandma, what big teeth you have!”
“All the better to eat you with!” replied the wolf, and it jumped out of bed.
Little Red Riding Hood began to run, but the wolf was close behind her. Luckily Little Red Riding Hood’s dad was working in the forest and heard her screams. He picked up his axe and rushed to the cottage. When he saw the wolf, he cut it in two with one mighty blow. Then he hugged his frightened daughter. 

Resolution: harmony, the return to the norm. 
When the girl turned around, she got an almighty surprise. Because her dad had cut the wolf in two, her Grandma had been able to escape unharmed. All three then settled in the cottage to eat cake and fresh wild strawberries. 

Elements 2: the sequencing of events

Fairy Tales almost always follow the standard-beginning/middle/end- sequence of events, as this is the sequence most easily followed by children.
However, you need not begin at the beginning; sometimes it is more appropriate to start in the middle, and then fill in the exposition through flashback. Below are three ways in which the story might have been begun. 

1. The sight of a small red cloak bobbing through the trees was enough to rouse the old wolf from his daydream...(Begins with Development)

2. Riding Hood hadn’t realised just how ill her grandmother really was until she saw her face above the blankets of her bed...(Begins with crisis)

3. The sound of terrified screams reached the ears of the resting woodcutter. There was no mistaking that voice...(Begins with end of crisis)

Elements 3: Narrative point-of-view.

Most fairy tales have a third-person narrator: the person telling the story is not in the story.
Usually, the narrator is omniscient (all-knowing): he or she can go anywhere and can tell you what all the characters are thinking.
Sometimes, the narrator is what is called a demonstrator: you are told what the characters say and do, and you have to work out what they are thinking for yourself, usually from various clues the author has provided.
The final type of third person narrator is the limited narrator. With this, you tend to follow one character and be told what they are thinking; the other characters you have to figure out for yourself.

The other type of narrative is the first-person narrative: the person telling the story is in the story, so you know everything that the narrator thinks, and have to guess (along with the narrator) what others are thinking.

Sometimes the first-person narrator is an unreliable narrator: that is, it is clear to the reader that what the narrator thinks is not actually the truth. 

A narrator can be unreliable in many ways; a narrator who is characterized by exaggeration and bragging; a narrator who is either experiencing mental defence mechanisms, such as PTSD or severe mental illness, such as schizophrenia or paranoia; a narrator who does not take narrations seriously and consciously plays with truth, and the reader's expectations; a narrator whose perception is childlike, immature or limited through their fixed point of view/perception; a mature narrator of sound cognition who deliberately misrepresents themselves, often to cover-up something about themselves.

Examples of unreliable narrators in literature/tv/film:
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Gone Girl
You
American Psycho
Fight Club
The Great Gatsby
Shutter Island
Joker
Filth
 
Things which could cause your narrator to be unreliable:
They are a child and so don’t fully understand what is happening.
They are an alcoholic who experiences blackouts but is trying to cover this up. 
They have an incredibly inflated ego and a habit of exaggerating their own accomplishments. 
They have PTSD from war or domestic abuse. 
They are hell-bent on revenge and all their judgement is clouded by this goal. 
etc. 

WRITING NARRATIVE

A. STRUCTURE

There are three parts to a narrative: the beginning, the middle and the end. This is not such an obvious point as you might think.

The Beginning

A narrative need not “begin at the beginning”. It can begin in the middle of the narrative (in medias res) or near the end: in such cases, it should continue for a short time, then go back to the beginning and fill in the gaps. For example:

As I hung by my fingertips from the ice-covered crag, I finally realised the folly of trusting a woman.
It had all begun...

Beginning at the Beginning

The advantages of this method are (1) it is easier- you don’t have to jump about in time and (2) you’re not going to give away any of your secrets- the reader should feel curiosity or suspense. However, (2) only applies if the beginning is worthy of curiosity; if it is dull, the reader will feel little urge to continue. Peruse the following example:

It was a cold winter’s day. John Smith got out of bed and went down to have his breakfast of boiled eggs and toast. Then he read his paper...

This is unpromising for a number of reasons: the cliched weather, the irrelevant detail, the lack of a hook (something to attract the reader’s interest). As early as you can in a narrative, you should introduce something to give the reader a reason to want to continue to read what you have written.

The following are the opening words of some famous pieces of literature. Try to identify the hook in each case:

1. Mr Jones of the Manor Farm had locked the henhouses for the night, but was too drunk to remember to shut the popholes. With the ring of light from the lantern dancing from side to side, he lurched across the yard, kicked off his boots, drew himself a last glass of beer from the barrel in the scullery, and made his way up to bed, where Mrs Jones was already snoring.
As soon as the lights in the farmhouse went out, there was a stirring and a fluttering throughout the farmyard...
(George Orwell: Animal  farm)

2. It was a bright cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen...
(George Orwell: 1984)

3. “Sent down for indecent behaviour, eh?” said Paul Pennyfeather’s guardian. “Well, thank God your father has been spared this disgrace. That’s all I can say...”
(Evelyn Waugh: Decline and Fall)

4. The story so far:
    In the beginning, the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move...
(Douglas Adams: Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

5. Mother died today. Or, maybe, yesterday; I can’t be sure. The telegram from the home says: Your mother passed away. Funeral tomorrow. Deep sympathy. Which leaves the matter doubtful; it could have been yesterday.
(Albert Camus: L’Etranger)

6. They’re out there.
    Black boys in white suits up before me to commit sex acts in the hall and get it mopped up before I can catch them.
(Ken Kesey: One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest)

7. My first impression was that the stranger’s eyes were of an unusually light blue. They met mine for several blank seconds, vacant, unmistakeably scared.
(Christopher Isherwood: Mr Norris Changes Trains)

8. Running was a strange thing. The sound of your feet slapping the pavement. The lights of passing cars batted your eyeballs...
(William McIlvanney: Laidlaw)

9. My name is James Hazell and I’m the biggest bastard who ever pushed your bell button.
No, that wasn’t how I introduced myself to the creepy Clifford Abrey but it should have been, that warm July evening...
(P.B. Yuill: Hazell Plays Solomon)

10. My name is Charles Highway, though you wouldn’t think it to look at me...
(Martin Amis: The Rachel Papers)

11. A squat grey building of only thirty-four storeys. Over the main entrance, the words, CENTRAL LONDON HATCHERY AND CONDITIONING CENTRE, and in a shield, the world state’s motto, COMMUNITY, IDENTITY, STABILITY.
(Aldous Huxley: Brave New World)

12. As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his sleep into a gigantic insect.
(Franz Kafka: Metamorphosis)

13. It was late in the evening when K. arrived. The village was deep in snow. The castle hill was hidden, veiled in mist and darkness, nor was there even a glimmer of light to show that a castle was there. On the wooden bridge leading from the main road to the village K. stood for a long time gazing into the illusory emptiness above him.
(Franz Kafka: The Castle)

14. The title of this work has not been chosen without the grave and solid deliberation which matters of importance demand from the prudent. Even its first or general denomination was the result of no common research or selection...
(Sir Walter Scott: Waverley)

Elements 4: Characterisation

Once you’ve decided what your story is about, what the sequence of events is, and who is telling the story, you have two further decisions to make:

who are your characters?

what are they like?

Remember:

keep the number down

motivate them properly (they are meant to be human).

One problem with Fairy Tales is that they are plot driven: characters do things for the sake of the story, not because it’s psychologically convincing. For instance:

Why have Little Red Riding Hood’s parents never told her about speaking to strangers (especially strange carnivores)?

Why does the wolf not eat Red Riding Hood on the spot and then go to eat her Grandmother?

Why can Red Riding Hood not tell the difference between her beloved grandparent and a large adult male canine?

Why did her father not take the cake and butter himself, as he appears to be working near the grandmother’s cottage?

The answer to all these questions is- just because!

CHARACTERISATION

It is important, whether you are writing fictional narrative or a personal piece, to give your characters (real or imaginary) some life, to make them individuals, so that the reader wants to know what is going to happen to them. If they are merely names, or shadowy figures, then this desire does not develop. 

To use an analogy, many people watch soap operas. They don’t watch them for the plot, because most people can guess what the plot of any soap situation will be – whose baby is it anyhow; the misinterpretation of a situation; who will marry and so on. No, people watch soaps because they find the characters believable (sometimes to the point of insanity!). What you have to do is try and make your characters believable too, so that the reader is concerned about their fate.

Characters may be created in the following ways, or combinations thereof:

1. Action

A writer can show a character performing some action(s) in a way that is typical (characteristic) of him/her, or which gives an indication of the type of character we are reading about. Read the following from Charler Dickens’ Great Expectations, and decide a) what the account tells us about the sister and b) what the operative words are in creating our impression:

My sister had a trenchant way of cutting our bread and butter for us that never varied. First, with her left hand she jammed the loaf hard and fast against her bib- where it sometimes got a pin in it and sometimes a needle, which we afterwards got in our mouths. Then she took some butter (not too much) on a knife and spread it on the loaf, in an apothecary kind of way, as if she were making a plaster- using both sides of the knife with a slapping dexterity, and trimming and moulding the butter off round the crust. Then she gave the knife a final smart wipe on the edge of the plaster, and then sawed a very thick round off the edge of the loaf; which she finally, before separating from the loaf, hewed into two halves, of which Joe got one and I got the other.
2. Speech

Another way of indicating character is through speech, not only what is said, but also how it is said. Read the following conservation between the wealthy Bertie Wooster and his manservant Jeeves from Thank You Jeeves and say what we can deduce about the relationship between the two men.

“Jeeves,” I said,”do you know what?”
“No, sir.”
“Do you know whom I saw last night?”
“No, sir.”
“J. Washburn Stoker and his daughter, Pauline.”
“Indeed, sir.”
“They must be over here.”
“It would seem so, sir.”
“Awkward, what?”
“I can conceive that after what occured in New York it might be distressing for you to encounter Miss Stokes, sir. But I fancy the contingency need scarcely arise.”
I weighed this.
“When you start talking about contingencies arising, Jeeves, the brain seems to flicker and I rather miss the gist. Do you mean that I ought to be able to keep out of her way?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Avoid her?”
“Yes, sir.”

3. By Direct Statement

It is possible to tell the reader openly what a character is like instead of showing. This is probably the most common way used in narrative writing (if any way is used at all), but it is difficult to bring the character to life like this. You must ensure that the character subsequently behaves and speaks in a way consistent with the type of person you have described.

However, it is generally better to let the character’s words and actions speak for themselves, and let the reader make the judgement on character.
4. Comparison and Association

You can suggest what a character is like by comparing them or associating them with something that conjures up an image in our mind. Here is a description of Miss Murdstone (note the name) from Dickens’ David Copperfield.
a) Pick out words or objects that directly suggest metal
b) suggest what aspects of Miss Murdstone imply “a metallic lady”
c) state what impression of Miss Murdstone we are meant to gain.

It was Miss Murdstone who was arrived, and a gloomy looking lady she was; dark, like her brother, whom she greatly resembled in face and voice; and with very heavy eyebrows, nearly meeting over her large nose, as if, being disabled by the wrongs of her sex from wearing whiskers, she had carried them to that account. She had brought with her two uncompromising hard black boxes, with her initials on the lid in hard black nails. When she paid the coachman she took the money from a hard steel purse, and she kept the purse in a very jail of a bag which hung upon her arm by a heavy chain, and shut up like a bite. I had never, at that time, seen such a metallic lady altogether as Miss Murdstone was.

5. Associating the Character with a Point-of View or Action by which they can be easily identified.

Uriah Heep from David Copperfield was “ever so ‘umble” (his words)- and had a characteristic action: what impression do we get from his catchphrase and gestures?

It was no fancy of mine, I observed; for he frequently ground the palms against each other as if to squeeze them dry and warm, besides often wiping them, in a stealthy way, on his pocket handkerchief.

6. Picking out a feature or detail that brings a character to mind in a vivid way.

This method is often used to give individuality to very minor characters. Some examples from A Cackhanded War by Edmund Blishen.

He was a tiny fellow, with a leathery white face under black hair, and tied to the case he’d brought were a pair of enormous gumboots.

Mrs Goss was a widow, a neat little woman of over seventy; and witchlike.

He was a tall silent dark man, very gentle, who would tut over his machine as if it were some moody woman.

On the haystack was a boy: a short stout boy with a very runny nose.

Elements 5: Endings.

The ending is the least important part of your narrative, because most readers will have made up their minds about your story well before they reach the end. If it’s not very good, they may never reach the end at all!

However, it’s nice to round off a good story with a good ending.

1. What kind of ending?

a. The status quo

This is the ending that Red Riding Hood has- everything is back to what it was at the start.

b. Harmony is restored but things have changed.

Some other versions of RRH go “...and Red Riding Hood decided never to walk in the forest by herself again...” so things are not quite the same. Something has been realised.

c. The open ending.

There is more to come which is left to the reader’s imagination: “As RRH wandered back to her house, a pair of yellow eyes, blazing with loss and hatred, watched from behind a tree.”

2. Endings to avoid.

a. The unconvincing ending which is devised to fit the needs of the narrative rather than emerging naturally from it.

Why, if the wolf is cut in two, does Gran emerge unscathed, in one piece? Because it would spoil the happy ending for her to be dismembered.

b. The Painted into a Corner Ending: there’s no way out but to wake up!

c. The ending that tells you what to think or feel: “So they all lived happily after, except, of course, the wolf, who was killed, and his family, who were completely devastated, especially his teenage sons, who became juvenile delinquents, much to the dismay of local farmers. If RRH had only thought before going into the woods that day...”

d. The ending that comes too soon- or not soon enough. 

ASPECTS OF STYLE

1. Sentence structure

The length and structure of sentences can affect the impression given by a piece of writing. You should normally aim for a clear, simple, straightforward, correct prose style. Striving for special effects should be severely restricted; but, if so restricted, can be creative and engaging.

Short Sentences

Short sentences or, sometimes, non-sentences, are often used to achieve effects of tension or horror. The numerous pauses between sentences seems to create the appropriate feeling, just as at the climax of a horror film you are subjected to numerous jump cuts.

He waited. From deep below came an indescribable sound. A slithering. A deep throaty gurgling. A shuffling, as the nameless thing mounted the stairs. Closer it came. She backed against the wall, shivering. Closer still.
A rank stench met her nostrils.
“You don’t have a clean pair of socks I could borrow?” said Fred. (an example of bathos)

 Long Sentences

Conversely, in narrative, long meandering sentences can be used to denote lack of urgency, casualness, light heartedness or humour:

It is an observable fact, if one witnesses the behaviour of school pupils in their natural habitat, the classroom, that the desire to gain a particular qualification, as expressed, is in direct proportion to the ability to do so, this constituting a de facto recognition of the realities of the situation, if not acceptance of same.

 

“Listing” Sentences

Sentences which give lists of clauses of a similar nature, or verbs, or nouns,- and which are not of course just giving lists in the sense of shopping lists- are often used to describe scenes where a large number of things are happening at once, scenes of great activity and excitement. Such sentences should be used very sparingly.

People rolled on the ground, jumped up and down, waved fists in the air, kicked the turf, tore their hair, gouged their eyes; voices filled the air, screams, pleas, imprecations, sobs, curses.
“I don’t care,” said the ref, “it’s still a penalty!”

Repetition

Do not, if you can help it, repeat yourself in the sense of using the same content words (nouns, verbs, adjectives) again and again. However, to emphasise a particular aspect of something you are describing, it can be useful to use a repetitive sentence structure, within limits. This usually means beginning sentences with the same group of words.

It was astonishing! It was incredible! It was a thing of wonder! It was- a miracle! It was- a Celtic victory!

What a swine he is! What bad manners he has! What pride, what hubris, what arrogance!

I remember her that day. I remember her golden hair. I remember her clear blue eyes, shining with love for me. I remember her large...

2. Imagery

When you write a narrative, you begin, not with words, but with a picture, either clear or vague, which you then try to put into words.
When you read a narrative, what passes through your head is not a list of words, but a succession of pictures.

The technical term for these pictures is images. The process of forming these pictures is called imagination. The language that a writer uses to help you form pictures is called imagery. 

This is where it usually breaks down.

Let us suppose that you are writing a narrative. You have a mental image of a scene where an old man walks down a road. So you write:

The old man walked down the road.

Someone reads your narrative. They read the words above. They form an image in their head. What are the chances that their image will look like the one you began with? Not great. Why not? Because there’s nothing to go on!

What kind of old man?
How did he walk?
What kind of road?

Now we don’t want to get too bogged down:

The old man, who had one eyebrow slightly higher than the other and whistled when he spoke because of a tooth he had lost in a fight outside The Mally Arms in 1986, all because of a disagreement over Sultry Senga the Queen of Tradeston...

At this rate we’ll never get finished. However, it is nonetheless a good idea to give the reader a help when it comes to imagining. And of course the best way to do this is to use metaphors and similes which are a shorthand way of saying a great deal.

Here’s a tip, though. It is better to invent your own image, no matter how bad, than to use one you’ve heard before, such as

a shiver ran up her spine
her fingers felt like icicles
my heart sank
tears ran down my face in streams
I wolfed the pie down...

or anything else along these lines.

Instead go for more unusual/specific comparisons:
 
The smell turned to burning, like forgotten pizza in an oven
The sun shone like the light from a birthday candle

These should also fit the tone or mood of your writing, a birthday candle is not a bright light, but it does have positive connotations so it would not create an eerie atmosphere.

3. Tone

You should, by now, know what tone is, from your work on reading. However, let’s assume you have “forgotten”.
When you speak to someone, you always use a particular tone of voice: it might be formal or informal; friendly or hostile; humorous or serious; happy or sad.

The same applies to writing. This might seem apparent with first person narrative, where there is a “real” person “talking” to the reader...

I’ll never forget that time when my sister came home with her new boyfriend. I’m telling you, he was the ugliest thing you could imagine- cross-eyed, sticky-out ears, thin as a rake. You know the type I mean.

... here the narrator is confiding in the reader, talking almost as a friend. It’s informal and friendly.

The same can be done with third-person narrative, though. Think of your narrative voice as a “person” as well. How do you want the reader to think of your narrator?

4. Mood

Mood is a function of tone.

That’s helpful, isn’t it?
Seriously, though, when you read something, you feel something, you respond to it. When the tone is relaxed and friendly, you feel relaxed and friendly in return.

However, the mood of a piece of writing can be created a bit more subtly than that and in other ways.

In films, mood is often created by the use of coloured filters. Film which is black or blue can create a mood of fear, hostility, loneliness. Browns or reds seem friendly and safe. Greens are used for natural and pure.

The same can be done in writing:

The dark shadows gradually lengthened in the forest.

The fire in Gran’s cottage sparkled in the grate.

Weather is another good creator of mood:

The leaden clouds hung just above the horizon.

The sun sparkled through the branches.

Here’s another exercise. Look back at the booklet on Hooks. Try to decide what the tone and mood is in each of the examples, and how they are created.

5. Time and Motion

The passage of time often causes great difficulty to young narrative writers, who adopt all sorts of clumsy devices to indicate how this has taken place. 

There are two types of passing time: the time during an event or experience and the time between events or experiences. You should try to use the correct expressions, although they are not completely mutually exclusive.

During an event (the situation described is sustained)

Five minutes passed...
During the next five minutes...
For the next five minutes...
The next five minutes seemed endless...
After five minutes...
Five minutes came and went...
Within five minutes

Between events (something [at least slightly] new is to happen)

A day later...
The next day...
That night...
The following Monday... and so on.

Motion

In short, never describe how someone travelled from point A to point B unless you have cause to do so. Just say

we left
we drove 
we went
we arrived

6. Tenses

Some narrative can be written in the present tense, and this can be very effective, giving immediacy and urgency. See exemplar eight.
The diary form is written in the past tense, but has elements of the present tense: there is no hindsight.
Most narratives are written in the past tense, however: the narrator is describing something that is finished. If you wish to mention something that 
happened even before the start of your narrative, you should use the Past Perfect tense to show this:

It was (past tense) very cold that day, although it had been (past perfect) a good summer.

Verb Tenses

Present Indicative: happening now or habitual

He waits for the command.
He waits at the bus stop every day.

Present continuous: still happening.

He is waiting for us.

Past indicative: happening once or was habitual

He waited for the command.
He waited at the bus stop every day.

Past continuous: idea of extended period or introduction to “when”.

That year he was living in Paris.
He was waiting at the bus stop when…

Perfect: idea of “up to now” (includes past and present); in the past but not precise.

I have worked here for five years.
I have bought a new car.

Past perfect: idea of “before then” or “up to then”.

I had been there the previous year.
I had worked there for five years.

Perfect continuous: idea of extended period up to now (often interchangeable with Perfect).

I have been working here for five years.

Past perfect continuous: idea of extended period up to then.

I had been working there for five years.

Perfect conditional: idea of “if” or of hypothesis or judgement.

If the conditions had been better, I would have worked for nothing.
It would have been around six o’clock.

Use of “must”: idea of choice or decision or necessity. 

I must go.
I must be mad.
I must have fallen asleep.
I must have been dreaming.

Future Indicative

I will wait for you.

Future continuous: implied continuation by “when”.

I will be waiting for you when…

Future perfect: implied continuation by “by a time”.

By the end of term, I will have worked here for five years.

Future perfect continuous: much the same as above.

By the end of term, I will have been working here for five years.

Idiomatic usage:

Perfect infinitives: there seems to have been a mistake.

Past continuous:

Plans in the past: We were meeting at eight o’clock.
“Was going to” to indicate plans not carried out: I was going to do it but I forgot.
Vague future plans: I was thinking of going on holiday.
For polite requests: I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me.

The following checklist is to help you decide if your narrative is any good or not. It’s by no means foolproof. You might answer all the questions to your own satisfaction, and still be left with an awful story. However, if you can’t answer a lot of the questions, you’ll know you have an awful story.
You could also ask a friend to fill in the checklist for you, if you’re prepared to risk your reputation.

What is the theme of your narrative? ________________________________

How have you tried to communicate the theme (of course, you did not state what the theme was)?

What kind of narrator did you choose (one of four types)?

What were the advantages of this narrator?

What were the disadvantages (if any)?

What was the tone of your narrative?

__________________________________________________

How do you think you achieved this tone?

What was the mood of your narrative?

_________________________________________________

How did you achieve this mood?

Whereabouts in the narrative did you begin?

______________________________________________

Why did you begin here?

What was your hook (quote)?

___________________________________________________

How was it meant to catch the reader’s attention?

Name your main characters.

___________________________________________________

With reference to the characterisation booklet, how did you create them.

Character A _____________________________________________________

Character B _____________________________________________________

Character C _____________________________________________________

Did you vary your sentences to achieve effects?  YES / NO

If so, where and to what purpose?

Was your ending predictable or unpredictable? ___________

If it was predictable, what made it interesting?

If it was unpredictable, how did you prepare for it?