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Brian Donnelly, Director of Respectme,  Scotland’s Anti-Bullying Sevice was kind enough to let us interview him. Here’s what he said;

So, Brian, do you think schools are reluctant to admit to having a bullying problem?

Sadly, some are. I’ve met many head teachers who say; ‘There is no bullying in this school’. Its not as common any more, this attitude, but it still exists.

Why is this?

I think there is a fear of being placed under scrutiny. They also may feel that it represents failure when it really doesn’t. I’ve been in an area where one school recorded 30 incidents of bullying and another 100. The school with 100 was far better at dealing with bullying.

What is the most important thing for a school to do when tackling bullying?

I think it’s strong leadership that is needed and help from parents, friends and teachers. There is more chance of the behaviour stopping if they tell someone.

What is the biggest misconception about bullying?

The biggest misconception about bullying is that it is a part of growing up, that its character building.

There’s a common view of a ‘bully’ as someone who is insecure but people argue that its the opposite. What is your view?

We’ve never labelled children bullies or victims. It’s  about changing the way people behave. If you don’t fit the stereotype, you find it very hard to recognise that what you’ve done might have been bullying – but anyone can make people feel hurt, frightened or left out. Many young people who bully are articulate, intelligent and have an abundance of self-belief.

One of your conference workshops asks whether labelling of children by adults is ever helpful. What do you think?

It’s never helpful. I want people to understand that it’s not about softening language, it’s not because I have a social care background. When you label children, they can be burdened by those labels and live up to them. It’s been one of the biggest flaws of anti-bullying in the past 30 years, that it’s focused on what type of people do things to what type of people, rather than “This is behaviour – how does it make people feel and what can we do to change it?”

When does normal behaviour cross the line and become bullying?

Bullying takes something away from children – that capacity to feel that you can be yourself. But if I’m confident, people can be hostile and it will wash over me. I would say I’ve not been bullied.

So it depends on the perception of the person on the receiving end?

It’s a mixture of certain types of behaviour, and the impact they have. What you do about bullying is far more important than how you define it. Your response should focus on how to get back what has been taken away from the person who’s been bullied.

How would you sum up the root causes of bullying?

Bullying is about relationships – when they aren’t working, or they’re not built on respect, bullying flourishes.

Thank you Mr. Donnelly, its been a pleasure talking.