Talking to your child about suicide is crucial and should be done thoughtfully and we know talking about suicide can be challenging. However, creating a safe space to talk about suicide can save a child’s life. Multiple studies show that asking about suicide is not harmful and often empowering. You won’t put the idea into their heads and if a child has been struggling with thoughts of suicide, knowing that a concerned adult is willing to have an open conversation is often a relief.
Ask directly, “Have you had any thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life?”
Here are some steps that can make a big difference for a young person and get them on the pathway to living an emotionally healthy life:
- Do not wait for a crisis to talk about emotions and safety concerns. Many times, we respond to a child when there is a crisis, but part of preventing suicide is being aware of mental health issues before things become overwhelming. This can mean asking about how they are doing at the dinner table or during car rides and letting them know you will be there for them no matter how difficult their struggles may be.
- Check in regularly about their lives, how they are doing, and how you can support them.
- Ask open-ended questions that can’t be answered with “yes/no” or “IDK” to allow for a deeper conversation. Beginning your questions with “What…” can be a great place to start.
- Provide emotional space to talk. Many children believe they shouldn’t show their emotions to “be strong” but research has shown that addressing difficult emotions head on can reduce how intense and how long they last. Allow them to share whatever they are feeling and normalize all emotions. Validate their difficulty managing intense emotions.
- Look for changes in mood or behaviour that might be a warning sign that something is wrong. For example, if your child seems really down, they stop doing things they normally enjoy, or you notice significant changes in eating or sleeping.
- Ask directly if they have had thoughts of ending their own life. Even if your child is not struggling with suicide or depression, asking the question shows your child that it is healthy to talk about serious emotional concerns and that you are willing to talk about hard things. It also models for them how to seek support from other trusted adults and the importance of reaching out to check in on friends and family.
It is important to remember talking to our kids about suicide is the right thing to do. One of the best things you can do is give your child the power to talk about mental health concerns and topics as challenging as suicide without shutting the door. Even if your child is doing well, this powerful opportunity helps your child see it is OK to be emotionally open and could help them talk openly with friends.
There are many ways loved ones can help youth get support when they need it. This involves timely treatment, building connections, helping other people know what to say when a family member or friend is struggling and having a safety plan in place to help get through a crisis.
Reassure your child that psychological concerns are like medical concerns and need professional care. You might say, “What you’re feeling is very painful, and it’s important to get you the support you deserve.” If you’re worried about their immediate safety, take them to A&E or use these 24/7 resources:
– Papyrus 0800 068 4141 Papyrus UK Suicide Prevention | Prevention of Young Suicide
National suicide Prevention Helpline 0800 587 0800 Preventing suicide together – NSPA
– Shout text 85258
Kooth Home – Kooth
Childline Childline | Free counselling service for kids and young people | Childline
