REGULATION & CO-REGULATION

How are you feeling?

Can you think of one word that describes how you are feeling?

Why can it be so hard for us to answer these questions?

Maybe we don’t know how we are feeling. Maybe we don’t have the words to put to the feeling. Maybe we got the message when we were younger that sharing our feelings is not okay. If the important adults in our lives were not able to notice and name our feelings then it can be very difficult for us to answer the question, “how are you feeling”?

Feelings impact a child’s play and learning. For children to do their best playing and learning they need to feel safe, calm and interested. They need to trust that the important adults in their life are there to help and support them. Adults need to help and support their children so they can experience this readiness to learn which is called emotional regulation.

Children need help to organise their feelings because they can’t do it on their own which is called co-regulation. As we get older we mature and we can organise our feelings on our own, we call this self-regulation. As adults we sometimes need co-regulation and help to turn our feelings down and bring our thinking back online so we can support our little ones to manage their big emotions and feel calm, connected and comfortable.

Resilience

Our feelings  can change on a daily basis, like a seesaw. The video below explores how this links to children’s resilence –

 

How regulation links to listening skills

At times we can feel overwhelmed and unsure as to what to do as parents and carers when our children and young people experience stress and anxiety and the resulting big feelings. This video offers you some ideas of how you can support them best during these times. It also provides some really simple techniques that they can use to help themselves during these times too.

Below are a collection of resources tailored to regulation & co-regulation

Children First (www.childrenfirst.org.uk) – There is no such thing as a perfect family and whatever challenges you are facing, we can help. Explore these pages for support and advice.

Play Scotland (www.playscotland.org) – Playing in nature boosts self-esteem and confidence, inspires creativity, and spending time outdoors makes people happier. This link provides ideas, resources and opportunities to learn about play.

Exchange Resource (www.exchange-resource.net) -The resources found in the Exchange Library vary for all ages and cover a variety of different topics such as emotional regulation, calming techniques and developing growth strategies.

The Solihull Approach (www.learn.together.co.uk/online-learning) Togetherness learning, your digital hub for emotional health focused pathways. Online learning covering understanding; you baby, toddler to teenager, child with additional needs, child’s feelings, child’s mental health and wellbeing, teenager’s brain and relationships