Anxiety resources for parents and carers with links
Anxiety and stress are very common for children and young people and can show up in different ways – worry, anger, withdrawal, physical symptoms (like headaches or stomach aches), or changes in sleep and behaviour. Talking about how they’re feeling can really help, but knowing how and when to start the conversation can make all the difference.
It can be useful for children and young people to understand a bit more about Anxiety, so its helpful to break it down and think about what is anxiety? Why does it happen? And what might help?
What is Anxiety?
Anxiety is our response to stressful events, it’s a bit like your body hitting the alarm button to indicate something’s wrong. It’s a natural response, but sometimes it goes off too much or too often.
It can become a problem if these feelings of anxiety don’t pass after the stressful event and spill over onto different things. You might not even know why you feel anxious, or you might project your anxiety onto something else. This is when anxiety can affect our lives and how we think, feel and act
Why can we feel anxious?
As we evolved, our brains developed an alarm system that triggers what is known as the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response – which is the response when your body prepares for a dangerous situation. Even though we don’t face the same sort of dangers as we did in the past, we can still experience the fight or flight response when we feel anxious.
There are many different reasons that we might feel anxious, for young people it might be school, friendships, relationships, social media, sexuality, bereavement or many other reasons.
What might help?
Get to know your anxiety – notice when it happens and how it makes you feel – learn your warning signs and feel more in control. Keeping a note of these things can be useful.
Try to challenge unhelpful self-talk – for example, if you’re thinking “I can’t do this” trying saying to yourself “I’m trying my best.”
Try doing something to help you relax – Everyone is different and its important to figure out the things that might help you relax
Take care of yourself – Self care is so important – think about the things that you do that make you feel better, maybe you can create your own selfcare package or go to list for times when you’re not feeling too good.
Talk to someone – speaking to someone that you trust can help you make sense of things in your head, and it can help you find new ways to cope.
Although these are all tools for children and young people they are also relevant for adults and as a parent/carer you can model self care.
Creating the right space to talk
Before starting a conversation, it can help to think about:
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Is the setting right?
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Is this the best time?
Sometimes talking side-by-side rather than face-to-face feels less intense – for example while walking the dog, driving in the car, or doing something together.
How to start the conversation
You don’t need perfect words. Simple, gentle openings often work best:
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“How are you?”
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“I’ve noticed you seem a bit down/upset/angry today – do you want to talk?”
Try to ask open questions that invite more than a yes/no answer: “Tell me what’s worrying you about X” rather than “Is X worrying you?” This gives the opportunity for them to think about it more in depth, even if they don’t share it at this time, they might start to make sense of it themselves.
Sometimes sharing a little of your own feelings can help them open up:
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“My day’s been really tough because… What has made your day not so good?”
While they’re talking
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Listen without interrupting or rushing to fix things.
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Acknowledge their feelings: “That sounds really hard.”
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Ask what they need from you: “Do you want advice, help, or just someone to listen?”
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Remember, it might take a few invitations before they’re ready to talk – even if they don’t want to talk now, keep gently checking in.
Resources
Supporting your child Guide – A guide to help you support your child through difficult times
Exam Stress – A guide for support with exam stress
Helful sites
