Oh ye canny shove yer grannie aff the bus,
Oh canny shove yer grannie aff the bus.
Oh ye canny shove yer grannie,
Cause she’s yer mammie’s mammie,
Oh ye canny shove yer grannie aff the bus.

Singing I will if you will, so will I!
Singing I will if you will, so will I!
Singing I will if you will, I will if you will,
I will if you will, so will I!

Ye can shove yer other grannie aff the bus.
Ye can shove yer other grannie aff the bus.
Ye canny shove yer other grannie,
Cause she’s yer daddie’s mammie,
Ye can shove yer other grannie aff the bus.

Singing I will if you will, so will I!
Singing I will if you will, so will I!
Singing I will if you will, I will if you will,
I will if you will, so will I!

Ye can shove yer Uncle Willie aff the bus.
Ye can shove yer Uncle Willie aff the bus.
Uncle Willie’s like your father,
a harum-scarum blether
Ye can shove yer Uncle Willie aff the bus.

Singing I will if you will, so will I!
Singing I will if you will, so will I!
Singing I will if you will, I will if you will,
I will if you will, so will I!

Ye can shove yer Auntie Maggie aff the bus.
Ye can shove yer Auntie Maggie aff the bus.
Auntie Mag’s yer father’s sister,
And she’s nothing but a twister!
Ye can shove yer Auntie Maggie off the bus.

Singing I will if you will, so will I!
Singing I will if you will, so will I!
Singing I will if you will, I will if you will,
I will if you will, so will I!

But ye canna shove yer Granny aff the bus.
No ye canna shove yer Granny aff the bus.
No ye canna shove yer granny,
Cause she’s yer mammy’s mammy.
No ye canna shove yer Granny aff the bus.

Singing I will if you will, so will I!
Singing I will if you will, so will I!
Singing I will if you will, I will if you will,
I will if you will, so will I!

(Repeat)