{"id":1830,"date":"2020-05-26T12:41:14","date_gmt":"2020-05-26T12:41:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/aberdeenshireeps\/?page_id=1830"},"modified":"2020-07-20T12:49:11","modified_gmt":"2020-07-20T12:49:11","slug":"seeking-help","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/aberdeenshireeps\/seeking-help\/","title":{"rendered":"Seeking Help"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-1952 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/public\/aberdeenshireeps\/uploads\/sites\/2304\/2020\/05\/27142841\/Seeking-Help.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"191\" height=\"193\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Everyone is doing their best to be helpful to others during this crisis, but this can mean that we are not seeking help for ourselves.\u00a0 Being a &#8216;helper&#8217; can be exhausting, particularly as many of us are now helping people even more than usual-, helping children with their learning, helping the family to maintain a healthy lifestyle, helping to support older relatives, helping in the community and all from a position of feeling isolated ourselves and away from our usual supports.<\/p>\n<p>Research has shown that being able to ask for help and receive it is good for our resilience and positive mental health but, even in normal circumstances we can find it hard to ask for help.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Why is this the case?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We may feel that other people are too busy to help or that we have always just &#8216;got on with it&#8217;.\u00a0 We may see asking for help as a sign of weakness or know that it will create a feeling of vulnerability.<\/p>\n<p><strong>So why is it important to ask for help when we need it?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Asking for help should be a sign that we are showing self-awareness and a willingness to learn and grow.\u00a0 It gives us the opportunity to move forward rather than letting the situation get worse, along with our ability to deal with it on our own.\u00a0 Perhaps by refusing to ask for help we are not giving\u00a0 someone\u00a0 the chance to be helpful (it has a positive effect on the person giving the help too as it can make them feel good to be needed).\u00a0 The process of asking for help also means that you are connecting with others and should help you prepare for the next challenge.<\/p>\n<p>Seeking help is much easier in a culture that is conducive to collaboration and one in which everyone, including leaders, models help-seeking behaviours:<\/p>\n<p>&#8216;Needing help &#8211; asking for help &#8211; is an essential part of being a leader.\u00a0 While I&#8217;ve always known this, I&#8217;ve also always secretly felt that it&#8217;s a leader&#8217;s job to help others, not to need help.<\/p>\n<p>But that&#8217;s a myth.\u00a0 The reality is that leaders who don&#8217;t need help have no one to lead.\u00a0 People feel good when they help.\u00a0 They are inspired when they are needed.\u00a0 They don&#8217;t think less of the people they help; they feel more connected.<\/p>\n<p>I am not superhuman.\u00a0 Nor are you.\u00a0 And that&#8217;s not only OK, it&#8217;s better&#8217;. \u00a0(Peter Bergman CEO &#8211; Harvard Business Review)<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"How to ask for help -- and get a &quot;yes&quot; | Heidi Grant\" width=\"620\" height=\"349\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/h-TIRIxhq6E?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>So, it can be tough to ask for help. We know that everyone needs help so let&#8217;s look at how best can we ask for help?\u00a0 The word <strong>help<\/strong> can mean a variety of different things so it can be easier to try and break the problem down.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>\u00a0Make a list of what you need help with.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<ul>\n<li>I need help to walk\u00a0 the dog.<\/li>\n<li>I need help to finish this project.<\/li>\n<li>I need help with my child&#8217;s homework.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>2.\u00a0\u00a0 Write down a list of the people who could help you and match each one to the things you need help with.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Your children could walk the dog.<\/li>\n<li>A neighbour might pick up some shopping.<\/li>\n<li>A friend who is a teacher might help with the Maths.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>3.\u00a0\u00a0 Always remember that it is a good thing to ask for help but choose a good time to ask.\u00a0 You could say &#8216;Is this a good time to talk&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>4.\u00a0\u00a0 Try to be specific about what you need eg. Instead of saying &#8216;I&#8217;m really struggling with G&#8217;s homework. Rather, say &#8216;I&#8217;m finding the fraction section hard to understand, can you explain with a few examples please&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>5.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Try not to be over-apologetic or negative.<\/p>\n<p>6.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Keep trying if the help you get isn&#8217;t what you needed.\u00a0 Perhaps try someone else.<\/p>\n<p>7.\u00a0\u00a0 Try to build a reputation as a helpful person &#8211; Helping each other is what happens in a supportive community &#8211; big or small.<\/p>\n<p>It is very important that you acknowledge the help you have received right away if possible.\u00a0 Be specific &#8211; what difference did the help make to you.<\/p>\n<p>What if you think someone else needs help?<\/p>\n<p>Perhaps you feel that someone you work with is struggling.\u00a0 There are some things you can do to support, such as offer them the chance to talk.\u00a0 If they do want to talk, \u00a0listen carefully and let them know they have your full attention.\u00a0 Use non-verbal communication like nodding to show that you are listening.\u00a0 Allow them to talk and reassure them.<\/p>\n<p>Ask them if there is anything you can do to help or if there is anyone else who could help.<\/p>\n<p>Signpost them to helplines or other professionals if needed.\u00a0 Offer them your support to get in touch with someone who could help.<\/p>\n<p>Most of us ask those around us for help when we need it &#8211; from our family, our friends and our colleagues and it is so important that we continue to use these supports &#8211; virtually if need be.\u00a0 We are all having to learn and change very quickly at the moment and with all the added pressures it is vital that we seek help early.\u00a0 Help does not have to come from a specialist or an expert and existing relationships are often the most valuable.<\/p>\n<p>There are many resources available online if that is a way that suits us to access the help we need.\u00a0 There are also a number of confidential phone lines &#8211; some of the links to these can be found below:<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.selfhelpguides.ntw.nhs.uk\/grampian\">Self help leaflets on a number of topics<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.mentalhealth.org.uk\/\">Support for good mental health<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nhs.uk\/conditions\/stress-anxiety-depression\/mental-health-helplines\/\">Various organisations of Mental Health Phone helplines<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline\"><a href=\"https:\/\/aberdeenshire.sharepoint.com\/sites\/Arcadia\/services\/Documents\/Business Services\/HR+OD\/Wellbeing\/EAP\/New Counselling leaflet update 2019.pdf\">Employee Assistance Counselling leaflet<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/aberdeenshireeps\/learning-something-new-2\/\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline\">Next page<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Everyone is doing their best to be helpful to others during this crisis, but this can mean that we are not seeking help for ourselves.\u00a0 Being a &#8216;helper&#8217; can be exhausting, particularly as many of us are now helping people &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/aberdeenshireeps\/seeking-help\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21427,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"full-width-page.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-1830","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/aberdeenshireeps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1830","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/aberdeenshireeps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/aberdeenshireeps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/aberdeenshireeps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21427"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/aberdeenshireeps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1830"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/aberdeenshireeps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1830\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2696,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/aberdeenshireeps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/1830\/revisions\/2696"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.glowscotland.org.uk\/as\/aberdeenshireeps\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1830"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}